Baby, It's Cold Outside
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Rossi finds unexpected Christmas opportunities presented in an unlikely way. Co-auth'd w/tonnie2001969. Chapter 10 comes to you courtesy of Kavi Leighanna & Sienna27's TV Challenge - Chapter 20 Melrose Place "Under the Mistletoe".
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: Welcome, Readers to our annual JJ/Rossi Christmas story. Tonnie & I hope you enjoy the trip! Let us know!!**_

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter One**

Jennifer Jareau felt she was sinking in a quagmire of exhaustion. The past several months had been a long hard journey. Will LaMontagne was gone…back to the Big Easy and out of her life, the trials of parenthood too heavy a burden for him to bear. She was currently working at an exceedingly demanding job that paid a pittance and demanded more and more of her soul each day. Her nights were filled with single-handedly parenting a year old little boy with boundless energy. Add to that the fact that it was Christmastime again and she was fairly certain that she was going to lose her mind in fairly short order. And to top it off, _he_ was watching her.

That wasn't the problem. He'd always watched her to a certain extent, masculine interest gleaming in his onyx eyes.

The problem was that she found herself enjoying it. A lot. And that was going to cause her considerable problems if she didn't find a way to get herself under control. Quick, fast and in a hurry. Because _he_ was the very last thing she needed.

Shuffling her papers in her lap once again, she sighed as she tried to remember what she had just read. Glancing down at the file, she forced herself to focus on the words this time, not just the writing. Surely she could comprehend the simple written English language, couldn't she? But after reading the same paragraph three more times without comprehending a single word, she began to wonder. Maybe she should spend her time just staring out the small window, looking at the passing clouds. God knows that might be more productive than her so-called attempts at working.

Feeling the seat next to her dip quickly, she raised wary eyes, wondering if she was about to come face to face with the man of her dreams. But the smiling eyes of Derek Morgan met hers instead, and for that, she was momentarily grateful.

That was, until he opened his mouth.

"So tell me, JJ, what type of plans do you have for this Friday night?" Morgan's words were casual, but JJ didn't have to be a profiler to grasp the subtle nuances that were fairly screaming from her new seatmate.

Raising a weary eyebrow, JJ asked carefully, her eyes narrowing, "Wanna tell me why you're asking first?"

Grinning widely, his white teeth gleaming, Morgan chuckled as he shook his head, "Gee, JJ, you don't have to sound so suspicious. Can't a guy just make small talk with his friend?"

"Not when the friend in question knows you as well as I do," JJ retorted with a snort. "I know that look in your eye. You want something out of me, I can smell it."

"Okay," Derek admitted, "You got me. For somebody that says you wouldn't make a good profiler, you sure do have the team pegged."

"Been working around you freaks too long. I guess I'm picking up some of the tools of the trade," JJ shrugged carelessly. "So what kind of favor is this, Morgan. Personal or professional?"

"A little of both, actually. And bear in mind, Jayje, I'll owe you. Big. If you agree to help me, that is," he hedged evasively.

"Start talking, Derek," JJ urged, crossing her legs.

"You know that fundraiser for all the FBI bigwigs," Morgan began slowly.

"You mean the one you stupidly volunteered to help plan and emcee in an effort to convince Strauss that you were still a responsible, shrewd FBI agent," JJ snickered, remembering the look on Derek's face when Strauss had suggested it would be in his best interest to impress some of the higher ups if he'd like to continue his position within the unit after his relationship with Tamara was outted.

"That's the one," Derek nodded. "Tamara was supposed to be my Mrs. Claus and unfortunately, her office is sending her out of town. I'm down one beautiful wife of Santa. Think you could fill in?"

"Derek," JJ groaned.

"Come on, Jayje, I'm beggin' here, girl! Garcia's already an elf and she won't fit in the costume. Help a brother out! You were gonna be there anyway. Attendance is mandatory, remember?"

"Yeah, but I was looking at half an hour tops! You're talking about the entire night," JJ moaned.

"Not necessarily," Morgan countered, grinning as he recognized signs of weakening in her voice. Wheedling, he added softly, "I'll make you a deal. Two hours at the absolute most. If we're not done then, you can walk out the door and I'll not even try to stop you."

"An hour, Morgan, and you have to find me a babysitter," JJ shot back, wondering why she was even agreeing to such an asinine thing. God only knows why she let herself get into these predicaments, she thought with a sigh.

"An hour and a half, and I'll screen the sitter personally," Morgan negotiated smoothly, adding, "Or if you want, I'll have a friend at the Secret Service vet an entire stable of sitters if you want until we find one that meets your standards."

"What standards?" JJ groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead as she tried to stop the headache that was already building at the mere thought of this little adventure. "Apparently, I can be easily swayed." Turning quickly, she then glared at Morgan as a stray thought took up residence in her fatigue-ridden mind, "What exactly does Mrs. Claus have to do for the night?"

Making a face, Morgan shrugged. "The usual…smile at the kids, take care of Santa's needs, take a turn in his lap…"

"And who _is_ Santa, Derek?" JJ asked suspiciously.

"Fat guy, red suit, white beard," Morgan said easily with a grin.

"Morgan," JJ drawled warningly as her patience frayed.

"Another problem of mine, Jayje. I don't actually have a Santa Claus yet. I'm still working on it," Morgan groaned.

"You do realize that Friday is three days away, right?" JJ said, flashing him an incredulous look.

"Yeah, got that memo, Jayje," Morgan muttered, hoping against hope that JJ's agreement to be Mrs Claus would influence a certain grizzled profiler into cooperating with his master plan.

"And you know Erin Strauss will personally decapitate you if this doesn't go off without a hitch," JJ added, a little too gleefully.

"Got it, JJ. You in or out, girl?" Morgan asked a tad impatiently.

"In, I guess. But like you said, you're gonna owe me," JJ reminded him with a small smile.

"I know, I know," Morgan nodded, his bald head bobbing up and down as he stood. "I'll give you my firstborn child if you want it," he grinned.

"God, no…Henry's enough, thanks. I'll just keep this marker in my hat for a time of my choosing," JJ smiled.

"No good deed goes unrewarded, JJ," Morgan laughed, turning to move to the back of the plane. He only hoped David Rossi would make things as easy as Jennifer Jareau had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Two**

He couldn't keep his eyes off her. He'd tried. He'd told himself a thousand times that she was off limits. Untouchable. Forbidden. And she had been…until she wasn't. Until the moron had left her…now, his the possibility of what could be hovered in the air around them. And it was tempting. Too tempting. His need to stake a claim on her heart was slowly robbing him of his sanity. And the madness had to stop.

Watching as Derek Morgan slowly made his way to the back of the plane, sliding into the deep leather seat beside him, Dave rolled his eyes as Morgan sighed heavily. Obviously the younger man was trying to strike up some kind of conversation. He'd seen the calculating gleam in his dark eyes as he'd progressed toward him down the narrow aisle way of the jet.

"How we doing this afternoon, Chief?" Morgan asked, his tone friendly as he offered his older colleague a sideways glance.

"Cut the crap, Derek," Dave said flatly, turning a page in the book that he was using as camouflage. "Whatever it is that you want, the answer is a resounding no."

"Now, Rossi, I haven't even asked you for anything," Morgan said innocently. "Couldn't it be possible that I just came back here to have a nice chat with a buddy?"

"Possible, yeah. Likely? No," Dave snorted. "You want something," Dave stated. "I've seen that look before."

"Where have I heard that before?" Morgan muttered to himself.

"The answer is no," Dave said, stealing a glance toward the blonde beauty sitting at the front of the plane, leaning her head against the cool glass of her window.

"You don't even know what I want, Rossi. Don't be so quick to blow me off. You might find that you like the taste of the bone I'm gonna throw your way," Morgan grinned, following Rossi's eyes as they stared at JJ.

"How do you even know what my tastes are, Morgan?" Rossi muttered, raising one eyebrow in question.

"I got eyes, man," Morgan said with a grin. "I can see. And my momma didn't raise no fool. It's not hard to miss what's right in front of your eyes."

"Morgan, if you have a point, now would be a good time to make it," Rossi growled, shifting his eyes back toward his pseudo-unit chief, wondering if he had been obvious enough that the whole team was aware of his infatuation with the tiny blonde. What the hell, he thought with a mental shrug. He wasn't making any pretense of hiding it, and God knew he could use all the help he could get.

"Since you asked so nicely, I'll do just that," Morgan replied, then changed to a slight cajoling tone, "And I think I have just the thing that might make you quite a happy man."

"Morgan….." Rossi threatened softly, peering over the top of his reading glasses.

Speaking quickly, Morgan said in a rush, "I need someone to be Santa Claus for our upcoming Section Christmas Party, and I think that you're…."

"Oh hell no," Rossi said with a shake of his head. "There's nothing you could say that would convince me to put on any sort of low-rent getup and parade around like a reject from some overcrowded holiday Christmas card."

"Is that so? You sound awfully sure of yourself, Rossi," Morgan commented with a smug smile, knowing instinctively that he held one hell of a trump card. And if that kiss he'd watched the man beside him steal beneath the mistletoe earlier this week from Jennifer Jareau was anything to go by, he knew he had this sweet little deal in the bag.

"Morgan," Dave said, his tone low and lethal, "I suggest you find another place to sit unless you find your point quickly."

"It's just that you never bothered to ask me who'd be filling the lovely, luscious role of Mrs. Claus. Her identity might influence your decision," Morgan said suggestively, settling back in the leather seat and crossing one leg negligently over the other. Releasing a low whistle, he winked, "Jennifer Jareau is gonna make one hell of a Mrs. Claus and you oughta see the hot little getup I picked out for her to wear. It'll be enough to put pep in the step of every red-blooded man in the joint."

"And do I want to know what you had to promise to make that miracle happen?" Rossi asked, keeping his voice neutral as he forced his mind to ignore the flashing thoughts of Jennifer Jareau in a Santa hat…and nothing more.

"Does it matter?" Morgan shot back, not even bothering to hide his grin as he watched the other man closely. Pretending to examine his cuticles, he added, nonchalantly, "Of course, if you're not available for the job, I'm sure that I'll have no problem getting one of those new guys from White Collar Crime to fill your shoes. I hear that Agent Selpin has just been waiting for the right opening to get close to our media liaison, and this could be his chance."

"Selpin will have to wait until hell freezes over," Rossi ground out, arching an eyebrow as he added through clenched teeth, "There's only one way he'll get to play Santa to JJ's Mrs. Claus, and that's over my dead body."

"But I thought you weren't interested, Rossi," Morgan grinned. "Maybe I'll take my offer to a more cooperative colleague."

"Do you have a death wish, Morgan?" Dave asked casually, barely resisting the urge to smack

the back of the black man's bald head.

"I take it that you're in then, huh?" Morgan laughed.

A genuine smile overtaking Dave's lips, he slowly inclined his head, his eyes lingering on the gleaming locks of JJ's long blonde hair. "I've been in, Morgan. And this little debacle of yours might just give me the opportunity to convince a certain beauty of it, too."

Slapping his hands against his thighs, Morgan stood. "Glad to be of assistance and now, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to contemplate that turn on Santa's lap that Mrs. Claus will undeniably need to take."

Watching as Morgan walked away, Dave felt his grin widen. He might just have to break his cardinal rule and add Derek Morgan to his Christmas list this year. The man had definitely earned more than a card sent from his publicist, hadn't he?

The thoughts of Jennifer Jareau being the Mrs. to his Mr., in any form or fashion, was enough to make David Rossi feel very benevolent toward anyone who could make that happen. God only knew how he had been trying to make inroads with the woman over the past few months, all to none avail.

He wasn't sure when he had first realized that he had more than platonic thoughts toward the beauty, but he had put them on hold the moment she had started that ill-fated relationship with the dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks Cajun. David Rossi was many things, but home-wrecker was not on his resume. At least not any more. And especially when it came to someone who was as pure and perfect as Jennifer Jareau.


	3. Chapter 3

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Three**

He could still remember the day she had told him, in passing, that Will LaMontagne was out of the picture. Her eyes were fighting to stay open that morning in the break room, fatigue etched into the edges of her face as she reached blindly for the coffee mug. He had taken it out of her hands, not trusting her to avoid scalding them both. Pressing the liquid caffeine into her hand, he had watched as she took a healthy swig, then demanded answers. And when she had explained quickly that her son had been awake all night, and that she was the only parent in the picture, he had barely resisted the urge to leap for joy at the thought.

But while he had sensed an opening , he had also realized that she was not going to take kindly to a full-court press. JJ was not the type to jump from one relationship to the other just because she could. And, he had to admit, that was one of her characteristics that appealed to him. For once, he had found the entire package: intelligence and beauty wrapped up together with devotion and purity. And he was willing to wait.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to push the boundaries along the way. Without flat out declaring his intentions and potentially scaring her away, he was not hiding his interest in her. And that stolen kiss they had shared in the darkened shadows of the county sheriff's office earlier that week had just whetted his appetite for more. And he was fairly certain that she was feeling the same.

Closing his eyes, he felt a smile creep over his lips as he recalled that very moment. Their case had been at a standstill, the unsub just out of reach. Having spent the whole day once again working on victimology, he had finally called it quits around midnight, knowing that he would do better to start fresh the next day. Grabbing his coat, he had looked up only to see her gleaming blonde head bent over the desk in the corner. Glancing at his watch, he had frowned, his feet already moving toward her before he realized he had taken the first step.

Second later, he had quickly ascertained that she was sound asleep, her cheek propped on her hand in a precarious balance. Not wanting to startle her, he had just stared at her for a moment, taking in the stunning vision that was Jennifer Jareau. Knowing that she would regret sleeping like that in the morning, he had finally reached for her, speaking softly as his hands rested on her shoulders.

But he hadn't expected her to jump, and both of them had been caught off guard as she came flying up from the ancient chair, the squeaky wheels rolling quickly. He had barely caught her as her body slammed against his. And when he wrapped his arms around her petite body, he had realized then and there that he never wanted to let her go.

Rubbing comforting hands down her thin arms, he had said, softly, "You're okay, JJ. I've got you."

Her stunning blue eyes had finally focused then, meeting his with a snap. "Dave…." She had whispered, her hands automatically clutching his shirt as she fought for balance, mentally and physically. Glancing around, she had shaken her head, trying to clear out the cobwebs as she had asked, hoarsely, "What time is it?"

"Little after midnight," he had replied easily, settling her more comfortably against him. "And I'd say it's time for all good FBI agents to be headed to bed."

Nodding, she had tried to smile at him, only to give way to a yawn. Her cheeks had blushed prettily then as she muttered a quick apology. His laughter had been genuine as he had tapped her nose. "Nothing to apologize for. That's what happens when you burn the candle at both ends."

She had nodded again, then slid her neck from side to side, working out kinks. She had stopped suddenly as she leaned her head backward, giving him an unobstructed amazing view of her stunningly beautiful neck. He had barely resisted the urge to press a long, slow kiss to the delicate hollow, his body quick to remind him that he was not a monk and had no intention of becoming one any time soon.

Her soft words had almost been missed then, but he caught the last mumbled word, easily recognizing the word mistletoe. And when he had looked up then also, the small green branch hanging like a portentous omen, he had known that he was not about to miss the very opportunity right in front of him.

Their kiss had been tentative at first, his lips capturing hers softly, giving her the opportunity to pull back if she wanted. But she hadn't. She had allowed him to deepen the kiss, their tongues softly dueling in a slow dance that only made him want to beg for more. But it was not meant to be. At least not that night.

He had let her pull away, let her make her flustered excuses. But he had known then that Jennifer Jareau definitely felt the same way that he did. And now, he thought with a widening grin, he was being given the perfect opportunity to break through those barriers that she was so keen on erecting.

Opening his eyes, he smiled down the aisle of the small plane, straight into the deep blue eyes of Jennifer Jareau.

Santa Claus was coming to town, and this year, he was definitely going to be looking to add to his naughty and nice list.


	4. Chapter 4

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Four**

Staring at her reflection in the full length mirror of the ladies room of the Behavioral Analysis Unit in horror, JJ shook her head dumbly. No freaking way! No way! Turning sharply, she jerked the plastic bag from Lancaster's Costume Emporium back into her hands, digging fruitlessly inside, her desperate hands finding nothing but empty air.

Where was the rest of it? There had to be more! There was no way in hell that what she had on her body constituted a WHOLE Mrs. Claus costume. This poor excuse for a regulation Mrs. Claus' uniform would barely cover an elf, let alone her considerably larger frame. But as her hand fumbled around the plastic bag again, she came up with nothing. Not one single scrap of glossy red material.

How had she let herself get into this predicament? Tugging in vain at the unforgiving velveteen material, hoping to at least gain another inch of coverage, she mentally chastised herself for even listening to Derek Morgan in the first place. She knew that man well, and she should have seen through his practiced charade and recognized that he had more up his sleeve than he was showing. But had she? No. Hell no. No, the pleasant, ever-pleasing Jennifer Jareau had fallen for the oldest trick in the book, allowing herself to be swayed by those convincing words and cajoling eyes.

But never again.

Turning back to the mirror, JJ fumed, her face slowly reddening to the same shade as her so-called costume as she winced at the sight staring back at her. He was dead. Derek Morgan was a dead man walking. He might not know it yet, but he'd just sealed his fate and no power in heaven or earth would save him from her wrath.

Jerking the wooden swinging door open with a crash, she stomped her way toward the double glass doors of the BAU's bullpen, her gaze shifting neither left or right as she strode down the hallway. Her mind never even comprehended the startled looks and down-right lascivious stares she was receiving from the few other occupants of the long hallway. She had one goal…one focus. Find and destroy the BAU's current answer to Hugh Hefner.

Violently slamming her hand against the pane of glass, she pushed the door open, darting her eyes around the evidently deserted sea of desks. Where was he? That little Benedict Arnold could run, but he couldn't hide forever. She WOULD find him! And then she'd make him pay. And pay. And pay. At great length and at her leisure.

Standing in the middle of the empty room, JJ glanced up toward the railing, eyes narrowing as she stared at the closed doors of the two upper offices. Settling her gaze on the second room, she tapped her finger against her cheek, wondering if the thought niggling in her mind could be true. It wouldn't surprise her one little bit to find out that David Rossi had had a hand in this little escapade. The man had not made any efforts to hide his interest in her, and it would be just his style to orchestrate events to suit his whimsy.

She was going to ignore her thoughts about that man right now though, refusing to even acknowledge her own feelings at this moment. For the past few days, she had been telling herself, over and over again, that kiss they had shared on that last case meant nothing to her, nothing at all. It couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to have feelings of any kind for a man that would only leave her in the end. His history proved his staying power was limited, and she couldn't risk her son's future for a few moments of stolen pleasure, could she?

Jerking suddenly as she felt a faint blast of cool air from the heating vent above her, JJ sharply reminded herself of where she was and what she was doing. Now was definitely not the time to be psychoanalyzing her personal life. Now was the time to complete her mission and to destroy the jackass that had conned her into this wacky situation.

Reaching for the phone on the nearest desk, JJ dialed Penelope's extension, shifting from leg to leg as she waited for her best friend to answer. But after five rings and the chirpy voicemail of their resident technical genius, JJ slammed the receiver back into place as she muttered a curse. Apparently her entire team had deserted her in her time of need.

Hearing a loud gasp behind her, she spun around, quickly finding the source of the shocked noise.

"Kevin!" JJ shouted, marching toward the stunned man staring back at her with wide eyes, the heels of her red "fuck me" pumps clicked angrily against the tiled floor. "Where the hell is everybody?" JJ demanded, tapping her toe impatiently as she watched the younger man's jaw drop considerably.

"Uh..JJ…your…uh….uh," Kevin stuttered, his finger waving aimlessly in her direction.

"Half naked, I know, Kevin!" JJ snorted, crossing her arms in front of her as Penelope Garcia's current boy toy slapped a hand against his eyes, his cheeks blushing wildly. "Where IS everybody?"

But her demand for answers seemed to fall on deaf ears. Looking at his girlfriend's best friend through his slit fingers, Kevin mentally chanted, "She's your girlfriend's best friend! She's you girlfriend's best friend! You can't look. You can't look!"

"Kevin! Focus! I need a location," JJ growled, her breasts heaving as she slapped a hand against the back of his dark head, wondering if all men had suddenly taken leave of what little sense the good Lord had deemed to impart to them.

"Firing lanes…They had to re-qualify. I think that's what Pens said," Kevin yelped, the slap knocking the answer out of him as he once again tried to focus on anything other than the scantily clad senior agent standing right in front of him.

Not bothering to reply, JJ simply nodded as she did an about face, stomping angrily toward the exit, her short skirt twirling around her thighs as she jabbed the button of the elevator. She was a woman on a mission. Kill, kill, kill!


	5. Chapter 5

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Five**

Sighing for the tenth time in as many minutes, David Rossi forced his eyes to stay open as he watched Hotch once again help the young doctor Reid adjust his weapon for a proper aim. Leaning against the cold concrete wall, he muttered to his waiting partner, "So tell me, Morgan, why exactly are we participating in this asinine event again?"

Instead of hearing the younger man's voice, a louder, definitely female voice filled his ear. "If you had been paying attention earlier, Agent Rossi," Erin Strauss answered, the frown evident in her voice, "You would have remembered that it is Bureau policy that I personally witness these qualifications. And since I can only watch one person at a time, you will just have to wait your turn."

"Or maybe you will just have to watch all of us at once, Erin," Rossi replied laconically, his easy tone belying his words. "You CAN multitask, can't you, Erin?" Morgan's sudden snicker turned to a dry cough as their Section Chief trained her laser-point gaze in their direction.

"You CAN be patient, can't you, Dave?" Strauss shot back, her lips pressed together as she crossed her arms over her sweater-covered chest.

About to respond, Rossi stopped suddenly as he heard a commotion on the other end of the firing range. The sound of erratic shooting was followed by a cacophony of yells and whistles. Well, not exactly whistles, Rossi realized, easily recognizing a wolf whistle when he heard it. Heads suddenly popped out of cement enclosures, prairie-dogging out as everyone tried to figure out what was causing a ruckus in their normally staid FBI shooting range.

And suddenly, David Rossi realized exactly what had caused a near riot. For down the long, concrete corridor, he caught sight of a tall blonde heading in their direction. And unless he was mistaken, that beautiful creature in what appeared to be a velvet red mouthwateringly sexy concoction just happened to be their very own Jennifer Jareau.

Watching as she neared, Dave noted her clenched jaw and flashing blue eyes. Evidently, Morgan's choice in Mrs. Claus' apparel was not what she expected. And the first words out of her mouth only served to prove his supposition.

Glaring at Derek Morgan in a way that could have frozen ice water in hell, JJ spat, hands landing on her hips as she skidded to a stop three foot from him, "Of all the underhanded despicable things I've seen in my life, Morgan, this tops it! I'm going to KILL you!"

Holding up a supplicating hand, Morgan took a step back, bumping into Hotch, "Now, Jayje…all this is gonna be for a really good cause. And you look great! You'll make the perfect mate of Claus!"

Glaring at Morgan, JJ shifted her eyes to her two best friends. "Really? Tell me girls, do I look like Santa's wife."

Eyes wide, Emily gulped, desperately trying to find something positive to say. "Well, you're definitely colorful," she said in a strangled voice, taking in JJ's tilted Santa cap, short velvet dress, clinced tightly at her tiny waist with a wide black belt, down to her white and red striped stockings and ending with the three inch heels gracing her small feet.

"Who are you kidding!" Penelope said on a burst of laughter. "You look like Santa's Slut, Angelfish!"

Jerking her head back to Morgan, JJ hissed, "See! I'm somebody's mother, here, Morgan!"

"Not my mother," Dave murmured, eyeing the irate woman's body appreciatively.

Pointing a finger at David, JJ shook her head, "You don't get to say a WORD! I only have six bullets in my gun and they are all reserved for the Santa's pimp here," JJ yelled, jerking her head toward Derek.

"Wait til she finds out who Santa is," Hotch muttered to Emily, trying to avert his gaze from his scantily clad media liason.

"What was that?" JJ asked, sliding her gaze to her Unit Chief. "What did you just say about Santa?" JJ asked, narrowing her gaze on an uncomfortable Aaron Hotchner.

"I think now would be a very good time for me to exercise my constitutional right to remain silent," Hotch replied stiffly, glaring toward the suddenly silent Derek Morgan, noticing that the younger man seemed to be quite interested in the uninteresting concrete floor.

"Oh hell no," JJ snapped back quickly, propping her small hands on her barely covered hips as she narrowed her flashing eyes. "You will start talking, and I mean now. If you have any information about Santa or his other partners in Christmas crime, now would be an excellent time to divulge it. Before I choose to employ methods that you," she said with a hiss, then turned to glare at her other co-workers," and everyone else might find unpleasant."

Giggling, Pen interrupted, her cheeks almost splitting as she couldn't stop the grin crossing her face, "Seriously, my little Christmas pinup, I don't think this is proper behavior for a Mrs. Claus to be exhibiting. What will the little girls and boys think?"

"Mrs. Claus," JJ bit out quickly, flicking her so-called best friend on the arm with a wave of her fingers, "Is not worried about children right now. Unless, of course, you are referring to these so-called men who have the maturity levels of three-year old!" Stomping her four-inch heel, she snapped out loudly, "Start talking now, you idiots! I want answers!"

"JJ, I feel like I need to remind you that we're trying to make a considerable contribution to the new children's oncology wing over at George Washington Memorial. This is all for a good cause," Morgan offered lamely, barely managing to meet the icy blue stare of his aggrieved colleague. "And I just _know_ that you want to do everything possible to help those poor sick kids."

"Unless you'd like to have a tour of said hospital's emergency room, I'd start talking, Morgan," Emily warned. Judging from the look covering JJ's face, volcanic eruption was only moments away.

"What does it matter who Santa is? This is for those sick kids, right? And, trust me, Jayje, that getup is gonna get those rusty billfolds opened wide," Morgan reasoned.

Narrowing one eye on Morgan for a moment, JJ forced her gaze to that of her Unit Director, Erin Strauss. "Permission to pull my weapon, Ma'am?" JJ requested, her eyes pleading with the older woman for just a small bit of mercy.

"You've managed to fit a firearm into that ensemble?" Strauss asked with an awed voice and a raised brow. Flashing a look at Aaron Hotchner, Strauss replied, her admiration obvious, "Now, that's impressive."

"Ma'am, I'm begging you," JJ pleaded.

"Agent Morgan, I believe Agent Jareau asked you a direct question," Strauss prompted, her voice decisive in the unusually quiet range. "Who is Santa, Agent Morgan?"

Shifting on his feet guiltily, as he kept his gaze affixed to the cement floor, Morgan mumbled, "Agent Rossi."

"Excuse me, Agent. I don't believe any of us heard that," Strauss replied, pursing her lips.

Sighing heavily, Morgan lifted his mocha eyes to Strauss, praying she'd be able to stop Jennifer Jareau from doing him irreparable harm, "Santa Claus will be played by Agent Rossi, Ma'am."

Shifting her gaze from one agent to another, Strauss raised one manicured brow. "Now, Agent Jareau, you may draw your weapon. _"Do_ try to aim for something unimportant, dear. A hand, a foot…"

"A testicle," Garcia muttered on a giggle. Seeing Morgan's wide eyes stare at her in horror, she shrugged. "_What?_ It's not like you don't have a spare."

"Oh. My. GOD!" JJ gasped, her shocked, wide eyes slowly finding David Rossi, a smug smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Ho! Ho! HO!" he chuckled softly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Six**

Watching as the usually poised eyes of SSA Jennifer Jareau shifted from awed shock to righteous indignation tinged with blazing fury as she gazed at David Rossi's smug face, Director Erin Strauss was hard pressed to keep her face schooled into an appropriate neutral mask. Biting the tissue of her inner cheek, she said, "It appears, Agent Morgan, that you might actually get to keep all of your various appendages. I believe our Agent Jareau has another intended target in her sights." Taking a step toward JJ, Erin tried to suppress the grin threatening to tilt her lips as she touched JJ's arm lightly. "This one," she whispered, "You may shoot anywhere you deem appropriate. And by anywhere, I mean ANYWHERE."

"Gee, thank you for your support, Erin," Dave drawled, turning his narrow gaze toward the older woman.

Smiling tightly, Director Strauss inclined her head. "I believe we'll all give you two a few moments of privacy." Turning to Hotch, she ordered, "Agent Hotchner, clear the lanes. The rest of you, I'll see in the bull pen in five minutes." Looking at JJ's pinched face, Erin leaned forward, saying softly, "I'd aim low if I were you, Agent Jareau." Inclining her coiffed head toward Dave, Erin murmured, "Good day, Agent Rossi."

Watching as her Director walked down the cement corridor, followed quickly by her giggling, smirking colleagues, JJ turned her icy gaze to Dave as she heard the hollow echo of the metal door slamming behind them, leaving her alone, in a deserted shooting gallery with one very amused Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi.

"I can NOT believe you," JJ yelled, her strident tone echoing in the empty range. "Which part of "No, David, a date with you isn't a good idea," did you NOT understand!"

"I understood you perfectly, JJ," Dave replied calmly, gazing at her flushed cheeks and angrily heaving breasts with appreciation. "And this isn't what I'd qualify as a date. A simple function we're both required to attend in an admittedly altered capacity together, doesn't qualify as a date. Unless the definition has changed and nobody told me…and considering how long it's been since I've actually been out on a date, that's entirely possible, I suppose."

"Look at me, Rossi! I'm somebody's mother here!" JJ said, stomping her foot angrily, her heel making contact with the cement floor with a loud click.

"In my defense," he said, his eyes slowly moving down her svelte body, "I didn't choose the costume. Although, I definitely approve. Though I'd have much rathered it be for my eyes alone."

"I think that cat's already out of the bag," JJ shot back quickly, her eyes narrowing as she took another step toward him, her hand clenching against her almost bare thigh. "Everybody and their brother is going to see me in this god-forsaken outfit, all because YOU and Derek Morgan concocted this scheme!"

"Again, honey," Rossi said, forcing himself to keep his eyes on her face as he noticed her narrowing glare when his eyes wandered lower, "I have to plead innocence."

"Ha!" JJ snorted, taking another step toward him as she added, "The day you are innocent is the day that the earth will swallow me whole. I'm sure that YOUR costume has all of its pieces and covers everything it's supposed to!"

"You wound me, Jen," Rossi replied with a mock frown, pressing his hand to his chest, his eyes taking a quick detour south to once again catch a glimpse of the beautiful woman in front of him.

"Oh, trust me, Rossi," JJ muttered, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, "I plan on hurting you. If you'll remember, Strauss just gave me permission, and I'm locked and loaded."

Holding up a hand as she stepped closer, Rossi said calmly, hiding his smile, "Look, Jen, I know you're upset, and hell, woman, I'm not exactly having a party over here at the thoughts of every Tom, Dick and Harry seeing you in that outfit at our annual torture event. So how about we work out a deal?"

Narrowing her eyes as she searched his face for any signs of subterfuge, JJ asked suspiciously, "What kind of deal are you talking about?"

Seeing a slight thawing in her eyes, Rossi pressed forward, his words quick but assured, "Mrs. Claus needs an outfit, but not that one." He added, a grin flashing in his eyes, "Although you can wear it for me any time you want to, honey."

"In your dreams, Rossi," JJ shot back, trying to ignore the sudden clenching in her stomach as she felt his eyes raking over her once again. She couldn't let herself be drawn into his spell. She just couldn't. Forcing her voice to remain even, she demanded, "Stay on track and finish your thoughts. What are we going to do about this outfit?"

"I suggest we call the wonderful little store where Morgan found this colorful confection and see if, perhaps, they have a more staid version of Mrs. Claus haute coutaure in stock," Dave returned, eyes flashing in amusement.

Slapping a hand to her forehead, JJ asked facetiously, "Now, why didn't I think of that?" Dropping her hand away, JJ glared at the older man. "Already called them on the way down here, Rossi! Lancaster's Emporium assured me they have no other versions of this outfit in stock, nor do any of their competitors! It's December 23rd, Dave! It's either this," she said, gesturing at her outfit, "or I'm naked!"

"Well," Dave said, raising an eyebrow.

Drawing her weapon from somewhere in the vicinity of her thigh high stockings, JJ aimed her gun carefully. "If I were you, I'd think very carefully about the next words to come from that mouth of yours."

Holding up both hands, Dave tilted his head. "I feel the need to remind you, yet again, that I didn't choose that ensemble you're standing in. Morgan, remember?

"Oh, my memory's not going yet, but if you expect me to believe that you're blameless in all of this, you're in for a very rude awakening," JJ retorted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Seven**

"Hey, I'm doing a favor for a friend, the same as you, JJ," Dave said, trying to school his face into a suitably innocent face, and failing mightily.

"As a general rule, Rossi, you know I don't swear. But, I'm going to make an exception and tell you exactly what I think," JJ said slowly, enunciating each word as she moved closer, clenching and unclenching her fist with each step.

"Let me have it, Babe," Dave replied, fighting the growing urge to laugh, knowing that the woman in front of him would definitely not respond kindly to such an action.

"You're full of shit!" she yelled, her words bouncing against the concrete cave they currently stood in, drawing stares from the few brave souls that dared to poke their heads from the safety of their small bricked enclosures.

"Now that's not a very motherly thing to say," Dave chided with a shake of his dark head, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Not a…" JJ stuttered, her cheeks reddening as a hazy fog hovered in front of her eyes, almost occluding her vision, but not quite. She could still see the arrogant smirk on his face, all too well. "Would you look at me?" she shrieked, stomping her foot, the spindle heel slamming against the pockmarked cement. "Do I look motherly right now?"

"Is that one of those rhetorical questions that I'm not supposed to answer? Cause…" Dave grinned, wriggling his eyebrows as he let his eyes take a leisurely journey down her well-displayed assets.

Holding up the hand not aiming her gun, JJ hissed darkly, "Oh, shut up!" Dropping her gun arm, she moaned, "What am I going to do?"

"First, you're gonna put that weapon back wherever you had it stashed. Santa would rather not perform tonight with a bullet wound," Dave commented evenly, meeting her flashing eyes with a firm gaze.

Frowning at him, JJ reholstered her weapon against her thigh. "Coward," she grunted, wrinkling her nose as she slid the gun into place.

"I prefer to think of myself as cautious," Dave countered, watching the flash of skin as she swept her Santa skirt aside, offering him a tantalizing, though abbreviated, view of her well-toned flesh. Raising an eyebrow at the sight, he reminded himself to make sure that Morgan received a nice Christmas bonus for giving him this unexpected gift.

Straightening, JJ blew the Santa cap out of her face as she glared at him again. "I hope you know that I'm going to be humiliated tonight. I have to work with these people!"

"So do I," Dave drawled, enjoying flustered JJ. It was a sight one rarely caught a glimpse of. However, this prolonged exposure was definitely doing an unseemly number on his libido, his body responding in a way that any red-blooded male would find completely normal. "Do you think I relish the thought of being a Christmas softie? Do I look like the warm, fuzzy type to you? Morgan suckered me, too."

"Again, I'm going to call bullshit. You knew exactly what you were doing," JJ shot back quickly, propping her hands on her velveteen covered hips. " And why you decided to do it and it had nothing to do with the goodness of your heart. More like the stiffness of your…"

"Jennifer Jareau!" Dave gasped, shaking his head in a mock-surprised manner as he tsked. "Surely you weren't going to make a sexually crude remark? Really! I'm shocked," Dave said, finally giving into his urge to laugh.

"I should have seen it coming," JJ grumbled, trying to ignore how much she enjoyed the sound of his deep chuckle. "It's not like you aren't predictable. I said no to you, thus, your male ego demands that you go that extra mile to try and catch me. In Santa's slut's suit, no less!" JJ growled, throwing her hands up in the air as she stared at the exposed pipes in the ceiling, silently beseeching whatever higher powers that might be listening to remove her from this God-forsaken situation.

"Now, I can't have you talking about Santa's bride in that respect," Dave chastised with a wink, stroking his bearded chin. "It's not exactly in keeping with the holiday spirit."

"Screw holiday spirit!" JJ hissed, pressing her lips together. "I'm going to freeze to death in this getup! In case you missed it, it's cold outside. And in here," she added, shivering as a blast of air suddenly invaded the narrow breezeway.

Shucking his suit jacket, he draped it around her shoulders, once again noting how tiny she really was, his coat dwarfing her. "I'll make sure that Derek has the heat turned up tonight," Dave offered, silently thinking that between his Santa suit and her luscious body that he might end this night dying of a heat stroke.

Trying not to enjoy the feel of his soft suit coat against her skin, she sighed as he reached large hands out to chafe her covered arms, the close contact suffusing her with more than just a surface warmth. Surrendering to the desire to lean on him, if only for a second, JJ dropped her head against his shoulder. "I can't believe this, Dave. I have to attend this thing as St. Nick's naughty nymph," JJ groaned against his neck, absently rubbing her cheek against his soft cotton shirt.

Choking back a chuckle, Dave brushed a kiss against her temple, consoling, "Well, if it helps, you'll have the best seat in the house. I heard Santa's got a special spot on his lap reserved especially for you."

Lips tightening, JJ slapped a hand against Dave's chest, sending him stumbling back a step as she drew up to her full height. "Asshole!" she spat over her shoulder as she stomped back down the cement hallway.

"I take it our touching moment is over?" he called cheerfully after her, enjoying the sight of her swaying rear immensely. Lord, he loved to see the blonde beauty coming, but watching her walk away gave him a thrill the likes of which no other woman had ever delivered.

She knew her reply was juvenile…but it didn't stop her. Lifting her middle finger, she simply kept walking. The sound of his booming laughter followed her the entire way off the range.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note: Loyal readers, it may be a day or so before my next posting. My Xmas cookies won't bake themselves. No matter how hard I try to wish it so.**_

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Eight**

For the fourth time in as many minutes, David Rossi tugged at the wide black plastic belt, once again wondering how in the world he had managed to let Derek Morgan convince him to play the part of the Jolly Old Elf. Frowning as he glancing into the mirror in his office, he slapped the imitation fur cap on his head, vowing to find an appropriate punishment for the younger agent just as soon as this God-forsaken night was over.

As he was adjusting his collar, wondering where Morgan had found this cheap piece of crap, he couldn't help but suddenly grin as he remembered the other outfit he had seen…and admired. Now he remembered exactly why he was doing this, and he could feel his attitude improve drastically as he headed back toward his desk, grabbing his wallet and keys. Glancing at his watch, he wanted to arrive before JJ, wanting to have a prime spot for viewing her grand entrance.

Jerking his door open, he barely took one step out onto the landing before coming face to face with the man who had orchestrated this entire event. And he did not look happy.

"There you are!" Morgan sighed, his voice almost frantic.

"Where else did you expect to find me?" Rossi snorted dryly, raising a dark eyebrow as he adjusted his fake beard over his real whiskers.

"Hey, I'm just glad to actually see you in person," Morgan replied, relief coloring his voice. "If I can't have Mrs. Claus, at least I have the Big Man himself."

Stopping in his tracks, Rossi nailed the younger man with a glare as he said darkly, "What do you mean, no Mrs. Claus? What have you done with JJ?"

Raising his hands in innocence, Morgan said quickly, eyes wide, "I didn't do anything to her! She's not at the party yet, and I can't find her!" Glancing over Rossi's shoulder, he said, hopefully, "She wouldn't happen to be hiding out in your closet, would she?"

"Yeah, because I'm exactly who Jen will come running to during this crisis," Dave snapped sarcastically.

"You've gotta help me find her, Rossi," Morgan declared desperately. "I've got a ballroom full of people downstairs awaiting you guys' grand debut! And we both know that Strauss is already gunning for me. The rest of the team is taking bets on which part of my anatomy she has removed if I screw this up! And I happen to _like_ all my parts, man!"

Smacking the back of the hysterical man's bald head, Dave frowned. "Get a grip, kid! I'll find her. Just go back downstairs and keep the Christmas zealots at bay for a few more minutes."

"Chief, I know she was upset about the costume…but she'd never blow off a fundraiser of this magnitude…would she?" Morgan asked nervously, darting his eyes around Rossi's office, hoping against hope somehow his beautiful blonde co-worker would magically appear.

"More than likely, she's trying to punish you for pulling a fast one on her. But, no, Morgan, JJ wouldn't stand you up. She's not that vicious," Dave said with a negative shake of his head.

"I hope not, man," Derek muttered, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. "But if she doesn't show up soon, I'm gonna have to drug Prentiss and throw her in your lap."

"Go downstairs, Morgan," Dave ordered. "Stall. I'll drag JJ out from whatever desk she's hiding under and we'll be down there in a minute."

Nodding, Morgan gulped. "Stall. I can stall. I'm an expert at stalling," he said, trying not to hyperventilate as he bobbed his head up and down.

"Then go forth and do it," Dave commanded, shoving the younger man out the door. Watching Morgan stride quickly down the hallway toward the elevator, Dave sighed. Turning quickly in the direction of JJ's office, he shook his head. There was no way he was going to miss this opportunity to convince Jennifer Jareau that he could be exactly what she and her little boy needed. As an added benefit, the fact that he could do it while she was wearing a skimpy costume, was just the top hat on his snowman.

Skidding to a halt as he rounded a corner, he automatically reached out to steady the small body plastered against his. And he didn't need to look down to know who exactly it was. He'd know those curves anywhere. "Helloooo, Mrs. Claus," Dave drawled, tightening his black gloved hands around her red velvet covered hips. "Santa was just on his way to discover your hiding place. Gotta admit, I wasn't relishing the thought of another trip back to the North Pole tonight."

"Bite me, Rossi," JJ grumbled, righting herself in his arms.

"As appealing as that suggestion is, alas, we don't have time for me to make an adequate meal of you. You're being missed, m'dear. We both are," Dave said, smoothing his hands gently across the swell of her hips. "Morgan's already forming the search party for you."

"I'd rather be lost," JJ huffed, "in the middle of Antarctica during a snowstorm IN this outfit than face our colleagues in this getup."

"Honey, I'll do everything in Santa's considerable power to make this as painless a process as possible for you," Dave soothed, tucking an errant strand of blonde hair behind her tiny ear. Reaching up to adjust her red hat, he murmured, "Come on, have a little faith in Santa Claus."

Scrunching her nose, JJ glared at him. "I'm holding you to that promise, Dave. Because I swear to God, the first idiot that tries to cop a feel is going to find Rudolph's antlers up his ass!"

Minutes later as JJ stood beside Dave outside the doors of the ballroom, she quickly shot him a glance. "What time is it?" she asked briskly.

Hand on the door, Dave glanced down at his watch. "Eight o'clock. Why?"

"I promised Morgan an hour and a half. Not one minute more. The clock starts now," JJ muttered.

Biting his lip to prevent another dangerous laugh from escaping, Dave's eyes carefully trailed over her.

"What the hell are you looking at?" JJ snapped, tapping her foot against the tiled floor. "And why are you just standing there?"

"Just trying to decide if I should frisk you before opening these doors. The idea of you packing heat inside this room makes me a little nervous," Dave admitted with a chuckle.

"You're welcome to try, Santa," JJ replied sweetly. "But be warned, you have no idea exactly how naughty I can be when provoked," JJ continued, brushing past him to make her entrance into the loud room.

"Maybe not, but I'm gonna enjoy finding out," Dave muttered, following closely behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Nine**

Inwardly groaning as he watched his beguiling beauty across the room, David Rossi suddenly felt incredibly overheated inside his sweltering Santa suit. Pulling at the polyester fur collar, he couldn't help but realize that only she could make eating a chocolate covered cherry into an erotic experience for him.

Watching as her pink tongue darted from between her moist lips to catch some of the white crème from the chocolate shell, Dave fought against the shudder threatening to wrack his body. God, have mercy, he thought, watching as she closed her lips around the rest of the sweet treat, sucking it into her mouth, her delicate neck arching ever so slightly as she swallowed. And he'd be damned if she didn't reach for another confection, so conveniently supplied by those goggling men that seemed to be constantly attached to her elbow.

"Dave? Dave!" he heard someone calling him, the words coming from a distance, barely registering in his otherwise occupied mind.

Christ, couldn't people give Santa a few moments peace in order to get his raging body under control? Forcing his head to turn toward the sound, he found Morgan motioning frantically to him from the doorway. What the hell could that man possibly want from him now? He'd ho, ho, hoed all evening. He'd kissed more than his fair share of babies, let copious amounts of children take a turn in his lap, a few that he was certain were due for diaper changes at any moment. Hell, he'd even given Erin Strauss the obligatory peck on the cheek without shuddering while they'd stood under the mistletoe. And he'd managed not to hurl on her six hundred dollar shoes. He'd done his part and then some for the good ole FB freaking I, hadn't he?

Casting one last longing look over his shoulder at a laughing Mrs. Claus, her long legs drawing his attention like nothing else could, he began making his way arduously across the room to where Morgan stood. Damn him! If one of those morons from Cybercrime made a move on his Jennifer while he was dealing with whatever Derek Morgan's newest fiasco was, he'd kill the younger man. Penelope Garcia would just have to find a way to deal with her loss. She was a strong woman. She would survive.

"Chief!" Morgan said, grabbing his arm, clutching frantically at the fabric. "You've gotta do me a favor, man!"

"Sorta in the middle of the last favor I agreed to do for you, Morgan," Dave growled, blowing at his Santa beard, the white fake fur bouncing around his nose. "Still a little busy with it."

"You don't understand, Rossi," Morgan whispered frantically, his face literally contorted. "She's going to kill me!" he said, shooting a quick glance around his shoulder as he searched anxiously in the crowded room . Meeting the older man's eyes, Morgan begged, his words loaded with worry, "I hope to God that you're as loaded as my Baby Girl says you are. Tell me you brought your checkbook, man!"

"Morgan, what in the hell are you talking about?" Dave asked, his voice dangerous as he glared at his co-worker and former friend. The man might not yet realize it, but his time on this earth might very well be drawing to an end if this night did not end soon. Very soon.

"We gotta sell her," Morgan yelped, his eyes widening almost comically. "Strauss' orders!"

"Sell who?" Dave barked, his stomach sinking as he suddenly realized who exactly they were talking about.

"Mrs. Claus, Rossi!" Morgan hissed, his eyes darting frantically from him to JJ, catching sight of the beautiful agent across the room. "She's gonna kill me, isn't she?" he groaned, rubbing a hand over his face as he wondered if it was too late to request a transfer to Alaska.

"You are a dead man walking. Living on borrowed time, Morgan. Only it's a toss up as to whether I'll let her have the privelige or take it for myself," Dave growled, his hands balling into fists as he barely avoided decking the younger man into the closest wall. How had he ever given his tacit approval to letting this man lead their unit? Nailing the frantic man with a murderous glare, Rossi muttered, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the din of the party, "Do you have any idea how many jackasses in here will try to win that night with her! Get her out of it!"

"I can't," Morgan whined, his words rising as he waved his hands in the air. "I already tried. But this is for the kids currently on the oncology floor of GW. Something about putting PlayStations in every room."

"Christ, Morgan," Dave groaned, frowning as he looked at the other man, realizing exactly how serious this situation was turning out to be. Quickly devising a plan that just might save them all, he added firmly, "My checkbook's upstairs. I'm going to go up, change and grab it." Grabbing the lapels of his colleagues jacket, he jerked Morgan toward him, glaring as he enunciated every word, "Understand this, kid, the bidding doesn't start until you see me walk back through these doors. Under no circumstances do you allow that woman to be sold off to anybody but me!"

Nodding in frightened agreement, Morgan emitted a choked, "Hurry, Rossi. Strauss wanted us to start the bidding in fifteen minutes."

"Have you even told her?" he asked sharply, looking over his shoulder to find JJ now laughing with Emily and Reid in the far corner of the ballroom.

Shaking his head, Morgan asked, his words morose, "I'm still walking and talking, aren't I?"

"Take my advice, Derek. You grab one of these sick kids and get them to do your dirty work. Otherwise, this might turn into a Christmas free-for-all. And I think you know whose side I'll be on," Dave muttered, glancing at his wrist watch as he calculated how he could accomplish the impossible in less than ten minutes.

"I got it, man. Just go. I'll do what I do best," Morgan nodded, his appreciation evident in his words as he took a deep breath, keeping his gaze on the petite blonde currently portraying Santa's better half.

"And what exactly is that, Morgan?" Dave muttered, stepping around the other man as he aimed toward the door.

"Stall, of course," Morgan said on a gulp, raising his glass to his lips as he took a healthy swig of the spiked punch. He had a feeling he was going to need all of the reinforcements he could get.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: For those of you following my stories, from now until Christmas, my updates will be coming every other day. Sorry, my friends, blame my children and their countless Christmas activities. As usual, Tonnie and I have a ball bringing you these stories, so, please be patient with us. The holiday season is kicking our collective rumps. Thank you, everyone who is taking the time to both read & review. Please continue! It makes it worthwhile to do this, knowing that we've managed to capture your interest. As ever, we don't own Criminal Minds (though I wouldn't mind having Joe M. for in my stocking this year!).**_

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 10**

_**Prompt: Boy Meets World – "Santa's Little Helper"**_

Even in the crowded room, Christmas decorations spinning in all directions, JJ still had no problem recognizing the form of Derek Morgan heading her way. Frowning as she noticed that he had his hand firmly on the shoulder of a child that could have passed for one of Santa's smaller elves, she couldn't help but feel a small shudder sliding down her spine, not able to help but wonder what the man had up his sleeve this time. God knows the last time she had allowed him near her, she had been suckered into this very event. And been tricked into this very outfit.

Glancing down at the short skirt, she tried, for the hundredth time, to pull the resisting fabric down just another inch. But once again, the cheap outfit refused to cooperate, still leaving her in a skirt that would have been the envy of any prostitute on the streets of Las Vegas. Santa's slut, indeed.

Feeling a hand fall on her shoulder, she turned quickly, fully prepared to draw her weapon if that peon from Cybercrimes was once again refusing to take no for an answer. But the cheerful face of Derek Morgan met her instead, his eyebrow raising as he asked, "Everything okay, Jayje?"

Forcing herself to guard her words, the small child with Morgan drawing her attention again, she smiled tightly as she ground out, "Nothing that a few more yards of fabric wouldn't take care of, Agent Morgan." Glancing down pointedly at her watch, she added, fake cheerfully, "Although, by my count, I only have seven more minutes in this crappy version of Wonderland. So my time in Christmas heck is about to be complete."

Clearing his throat as he glanced nervously between JJ and the small boy beside him, Morgan muttered, "Well, that might not quite be true, JJ. It seems that…."

But his words were lost in her sudden hiss of anger. Taking a step toward him, her four-inch heels bringing her within his eye level, she ground out, "Oh no. He…Heck no. We had a deal and I have kept my end. Now YOU will keep yours and wave gratefully as I exit this room in exactly," she paused as she glanced down at her watch again, "five minutes."

"Now, JJ…," Morgan placated, serendipitously squeezing the child's shoulder, cuing him that he was up to bat.

"Uhhmmm, Mrs. Claus?" the child asked, tugging at JJ's velveteen skirt as he pulled off his elf's cap.

Eyes softening as she glanced down at the young child beside Morgan, JJ squatted in front of him. These partygoers she definitely couldn't find any fault with, she thought as she stared into the clear innocent eyes of the child. "Hi, sweetie. What can I do for you?"

"I sorta need a favor, Mrs. Claus. And it's real portant," the child said, remembering the lines the tall bald man had given him earlier.

"Well, Mrs. Claus will do anything she can to help you," JJ said gently, smiling reassuringly at the obviously ill child in front of her, his bald head testament to the trials he was facing.

"Well, it's like this, Mrs. Claus. I got to go back to the hospital after the party…and I sorta told all my friends that couldn't come that I'd tell Santa about the plan we came up with…but since I can't find him, I'll ask you. See, sometimes, when we get our medicine, we can't leave our hospital bed for a long while…and the Playstations are only in the game room. We really wanna have them in our rooms since we can't leave, ya know." Pausing perfectly, his lower lip wiggling just the right amount, the little tyke shrugged sadly as he added, "But we don't have the money for that."

"Oh, sweetheart." JJ couldn't help but feel a tug at her heart as she listened to the little boy, trying her best to not imagine her own son in the same horrible situation.

Feeling the big man's hand squeeze his shoulder again, the little elf nodded slowly as he continued. "But we thought about it, and we kinda figured that that Santa could help with that. Everybody loves Santa, even the 'dults. So we came up with this idea that maybe somebody would wanna buy a night with Santa…or you! You're prettier than he is," the child explained, shuffling his feet perfectly as he stared into JJ's bright eyes. "Will you do it, Mrs. Claus? Will you let the bald man sell you for a night. It'd just be one! And all the money could maybe get those PlayStations!"

"Oh, honey," JJ said softly, reaching out a hand to rub his flushed cheek. Flashing a glare at Morgan and condemning him to the darkest, deepest depths of hell for the position he'd put her in, she forced herself to look at the boy in front of her, using her kindest and sweetest mommy voice as she told him, "Mrs. Claus would be glad to give up a night of her time. But, first, I need to make a quick trip to the ladies room, okay?"

"'Kay," the youngster nodded, smiling brightly into the nice lady's blue eyes.

Rising from her position on the floor, JJ slowly met Morgan's obviously frightened eyes. "Agent Morgan, you and I will be having a detailed discussion of who's been naughty and who's been nice very soon," JJ muttered ominously, smiling tightly at the other man, her cheeks flushing angrily as she walked toward the ballroom doors.

"Ten minutes, Mrs. Claus," Morgan called out to her in a strangled voice as he felt a small hand tugging at his pants. Looking down, he saw the self-satisfied smirk of his partner in crime. He definitely had chosen well when he found this one, he thought with a grin.

Holding out his hand, the child said with wide eyes, "Okay, Agent Morgan. I kept my end of the deal."

Nodding, Morgan dug in his pocket, withdrawing a bill and pressing it into the youngster's palm. "You sure did, kid! That was the best twenty bucks I ever spent."

"Nice doing business with ya," said the kid as he scampered toward a group of his friends, jamming his elf cap back over his bald head.


	11. Chapter 11

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 11**

_**Prompt: The King of Queens "Santaclaustrophobia"**_

Stomping angrily through the bullpen, JJ needed just a few moments to collect herself, fortify herself for what was sure to be a distinctly uncomfortable and embarrassing experience. Glancing down at her outfit, she snorted at that thought, her current humiliation paling at the thought of the coming fiasco.

Her thought growing darker by the moment, she strode purposefully, her heels snapping in a staccato rhythm. How could he have done this to her? Derek Morgan and his damn ploys! It wasn't fair. She was a good agent…dedicated and loyal, putting the Bureau and her mandate first and foremost. But this was above and beyond the call of duty. And she was locked into it, the noose firmly in place around her neck. No way out. No escape. The child that Derek had shoved in front of her had ensured that. And all because David Rossi in all his Santa splendor couldn't be found.

Wait! Her thoughts suddenly snapping in a completely different direction, she stopped abruptly in the vacant hallway, slamming a hand against the concrete wall. Why exactly couldn't Santa be found? Why had he been allowed to fly from the proverbial coop? And suddenly, the dreadful truth occurred to her. They'd planned this together! The evil Derek Morgan and even more evil David Rossi had colluded against her, intent on offering her as a living sacrifice on the BAU charity altar, all for their own demented little purposes.

Well, she thought to herself, this is one sacrifice that wasn't about to the go willingly. She was going to take hostages with her, willing or not.

Quickly deviating from her intended course as she started moving again, JJ veered toward the metal staircase leading up to the prolific profiler's inner sanctum. She could almost read tomorrow's headlines….Santa Slain by Slutty Christmas Nymph! Idly considering the merits of a quick, simple murder to a slow, long drawn out death, she shrugged to herself as she reached his door. Didn't matter though. Whatever amount of time she had to serve in Christmas hell would be time well spent IF she could get her hands around David Rossi's attractive neck.

Slamming open the door to his office, she came face to face with her own personal Christmas demon. In all his devilish glory. Stomping across the well-decorated office and grabbing his red tie in her furious hand, she narrowed her eyes dangerously as she glared into his gorgeous, yet obviously devious, black eyes. Jerking him closer, she offered his tie a vicious tug as she hissed, "You planned it, didn't you?"

Damn, she was beautiful when she was riled, Dave thought, his eyes taking in every part of her beautiful face, from her anger-filled eyes to her flushed red cheeks. Wrapping a much stronger hand around hers as he wiggled his eyebrows in her direction, Dave tried not to smile as he innocently asked, "Planned what, Jen?"

"Pimping out Santa's plaything for Playstations, you perverted Kris Kringle! I'm going to kill you, Rossi!" JJ shrieked, her voice echoing off the drywall and windows in the confined space, jerking his tie again as she stomped a heeled foot. Narrowing her eyes further as she glanced down at his obvious civilian clothing, she growled, "And why are you out of costume! If I'm going to continue my charade as Santa's bimbo, you are, too."

"Santaclaustrophopbia," Dave said seriously, his eyes daring her to contradict him as he cocked one dark eyebrow, adding for clarification, "I was suffocating in that thing. And my time in Santa purgatory has been paid in full.

"And I haven't?" she shrieked in response, slapping her palms against his solid chest as she teetered precariously on her left heel, her right foot raising for a stealth attack.

"Never said that. But I don't quite think, though" Rossi chuckled, his eyes unable to avoid a small glance down at her barely covered chest, "that you're unable to breathe in your outfit, sweetheart. There seems to be plenty of wide open spaces there."

Eyes narrowing as she slammed one heel down on his loafer covered foot, she snapped, "I'm about to remove your ability to breath, you son of a …."

"Damn!" he yelped, shifting her quickly, his arms effectively imprisoning her against him as he winced, pulling his foot away from her line of fire as he felt her raise her leg again. Staring down into her flashing eyes, he asked with a growl, "What the hell, Jen?"

"That's just a small down payment of the torture I'm going to inflict on you, David Rossi," she snapped back, wriggling quickly out of his grip as she glared daggers in his direction. "And don't try to distract me. You and Morgan are in cahoots. And you will pay for this."

"Now Jen," Rossi began with a placating grin, leaning on the arm of his side chair as he watched her suddenly stalk around his desk, her hand reaching for his center desk drawer. Cocking his head, he asked conversationally, "Looking for something, honey?"

Not even bothering to acknowledge him or his pithy comments, she easily shifted his multitude of pens out the way, digging quickly underneath the chaos as she muttered, "I know it's in here. It's always in here."

"I'd be glad to help you if you want to give a clue as to what you're searching for," he said with a genial tone, content to let his eyes roam over her well-formed tush, his view unobstructed as she provided him a perfect angle. He added then, "Seeing as how it's my desk, I probably have a good idea of the items that are in it."

Straightening quickly, she narrowed her eyes as she caught where his were aimed. Crossing her arms firmly over her chest, she snapped out, "Eyes up top, Rossi." Nodding angrily toward his obviously uncooperative desk, she then demanded, "And where the hell is it? You always keep it in your center drawer. Always."

"Again, Jen," he said with a patient sigh, straightening the front of his shirt as he stood up, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Gonna need more information. I can't read your mind. Yet."

Throwing her hands up into the air, JJ stomped her heeled foot against his flooring as she yelled, her voice growing more agitated by the moment, "Your freaking checkbook, Rossi! If anybody's gonna buy me, by God, it's gonna be you and your millions!" Slamming her hands against his wooden desk, she added, "And I better go for a good price, too!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**Prompt: One Tree Hill "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want"**_

Cocking his head, he eyed her quizzically. "Wait a moment, Beautiful. For my clarification, did you just tell me, whom for the record, you've spent a month rejecting, that I'm supposed to depart with my hard earned funds for a night in your company?"

Smiling tightly, JJ took a step out from around his desk as she started pacing in a tight pattern. "David, I'm trying very hard right now to exert some control over my homicidal rage and suppress the voice that keeps screaming inside my head."

"And what's that voice sayin', babe? Anything interesting?" he asked with gleaming eyes that strayed appreciatively down her lithe body.

"At the moment?" JJ asked casually, picking up his letter opener from the corner of his desk, "It's shouting something about how good you'd look with a letter opener shoved through your…."

"Ah, ah , ah," Dave said, waving a chastising finger in her direction, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he attempted to hold back a smile, "That's not the way to my heart, Mrs. Claus."

"Wanna bet?" JJ asked with a dangerous smile as she dropped her weapon on the desk with a clatter. Her eyes trained steadily on him, she easily slid around his imposing desk as she stalked toward him, her hand stuck out in his direction. "Hand it over, Rossi, and I promise to make your death semi-painless."

"Wanna tell me what I get out of this deal?" he asked calmly, merely arching an eyebrow as he bit back a smile, her red outfit well worth any payment she would extract. Although, he thought as he raised his chin, if she wanted to increase his compensation, he would definitely not be adverse to such a situation.

"The ability to walk and talk without medical assistance," she snapped out, her footsteps covering the distance between them. Patting her hip knowingly, she said with an arched brow of her own, "Don't forget, Rossi. Strauss let me go armed. And my fingers have been awfully twitchy since that idiot in Cybercrimes decided to play touchy-feely earlier."

"That jackass is gonna learn to keep his hands to himself or I'll cut them off for him," Rossi growled, his own hands reaching out automatically and grabbing her, settling on her waist as he pulled her tight against his body. The mere thought of another man coming within ten feet of her were completely unacceptable to him. Staring down into her surprised eyes, he muttered, his voice suddenly hardened, "Nobody's gonna put hands on you but me, Jennifer. That's a promise."

Shocked for a moment by his sudden assertions, JJ felt her throat grow dry as she stared up into his flashing black eyes. No matter how much she tried or how angry she happened to be, she couldn't deny the attraction she had to this amazing man and his overprotective ways. Her body wouldn't let her. Feeling his hands settle tighter against her barely covered hips, she swallowed hard. If ever there was a moment that she needed to be at the top of her game, mentally and physically, this was it. Pressing a hand against his chest, she forced herself to stay on task as she said sternly, "We'll discuss that later. But right now, I'm far more interested in that crowd downstairs and their evil plans."

Cupping one hand around a shapely hip while his other slowly slid around to her back, Dave pulled her closer, his voice floating against her cheek as he asked, "So I'm to play white knight to your damsel in distress, huh? I'm going to need some incentive here, Jen. Like your agreement to follow through on that promised night. I mean, if you expect me to part with what I'd imagine to be a good deal of money if those lascivious looks of our colleagues was any indication, I'm going to need some certain assurances on your part."

"Certain assurances?" JJ blustered, her face reddening once more as she felt her traitorous body once again respond to his mere touch. "My God, I might be better off to take my chances with whoever the highest bidder is down there," she replied rashly.

Leaning forward to whisper against her ear, his hot breath sending chills down her spine, "Trust me on this, Bella, there's no way in hell any of those bastards down there is going to outmatch me. Especially when I put my mind to something. And right now, that dress alone is incentive enough for me."

"You're incorrigible," JJ said softly, barely suppressing a shudder when he hovered a second longer than necessary above her neck. "Are you going to help me out or not, Dave?" she asked huskily as he drew back far enough to stare at her with eyes gleaming with interest.

"Would I have already put my checkbook in my pocket if I had intended otherwise?" Rossi replied, his gaze never leaving hers, his thumbs sweeping against the gentle swell of her hipbones. "I wasn't kidding, honey. No one comes near you but me."

Swallowing, she nodded as she let him pull her ever so slightly closer as he leaned against his desk. Feeling his hand slide up her back again, a shiver followed his every move up her spine, she suddenly realized that she was definitely incapable of speaking, which was definitely a first for her. She could feel the faint wisp of air against her leg as the Bureau's antiquated heating system kicked in, but it merely served to force her closer to the warmth that was his body.

In mere seconds, she just knew that his lips were going to descend against hers, and she also recognized the fact that she definitely wasn't fighting back. But a sudden vibration, a slight bouncing noise, broke through the spell, the sound and feel of his cell phone drawing their attention.

Dropping a quick kiss to her lips, lingering for a moment, he whispered against her skin, "We both know who that is."

Nodding shortly, taking the opportunity to regain some control of her wayward body and mind, JJ took a step back quickly. Trying to ignore her feeling of loss as his hands willingly dropped from her hip, she said with a tight smile, "And we both know that if we don't get this show on the road, then he's going to be up here searching for us."

"Morgan is persistent," Rossi agreed with a grin, his eyes easily walking up and down her flustered body. Obediently walking behind her as she headed toward the door, her hips swaying in just the right rhythm, he couldn't help but thinking that this might be the best investment he had ever made. Please, God, let me get what I want this Christmas, he prayed, lifting his eyes heavenward as he followed Santa's Bombshell down the long corridor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 13**

_**Prompt: The Jeffersons – "Bobbles, Bangles and Boo Boos"**_

Forty-five minutes later Jennifer Jareau stood under the floodlights of her makeshift stage debating how best she could pull off the Christmas Massacre of 2009. The only salient question in her mind at the moment was which of her many targets she would pick off first.

Her options appeared endless.

First on her hit list was Derek Morgan, for managing to convince her to commit her time to this farce of a fun holiday frolic. For a slight moment, JJ amused herself, imagining how Morgan's bald head would look on top of one of Henry's bobble toys, bouncing side to side in wide-eyed surprise and horror as JJ vented her frustrations with each well placed whack. A girl could dream, couldn't she?

Then there was her normally staid, emotionless Section Chief, Erin Strauss, doing a rousingly accurate imitation of a pimp pushing for the holidays as she rallied the crowd to further their bidding war for a night in JJ's festive company, complete with her holiday costume. Seriously, JJ was surprised that Strauss hadn't been caught moonlighting as a madam, her skills capable of rivaling the best in the business. This woman had gone to new lows in her pursuit of money for the cancer wing, going so far as to have JJ place a star on top of the tall Christmas tree, offering her audience a tantalizing glimpse of assets that the young blonde had only shown a privileged few in her life. As she had stalked down the ladder, JJ had tried to control her inner rage, wondering if she would spend much time in federal prison if she forced her bracelets ever so tightly over Erin Strauss's inflated hairdo. Seriously, she had witnesses to her public humiliation. These people would testify in her defense, wouldn't they?

And then, finally, there was HIM! The FBI's answer to their very own holiday Hugh Hefner, and the bane of her existence.

David Rossi.

Periodically over the last several minutes, she'd met his dark dancing eyes as bids had been shouted toward the stage, silently begging him to end her torment. But had he done such a thing? Had he shown any compassion for her delicate situation? Alas, no. Instead he'd offered only the slyest of smirks, tipping his punch glass in her direction upon occasion as the crowd moved closer and closer to the stage, perusing her wares with rabid interest. Yes, her first bullet would be her gift to him. But it would only hit something less than vital…an arm…a leg….a testicle. She wanted to reserve his departure from this world for an act only her bare hands could commit. She was trained in hand to hand combat, and she was looking forward to the opportunity to use it. Soon.

Drawn from her reverie, she heard the sound of her Section Chief's voice announcing to the crowd that they would take a small break in their bidding war to allow Mrs. Claus a small respite from the festivities. Obviously, JJ's wooden face had adequately conveyed her displeasure over her current predicament. It was the only reason she could assume that Erin Strauss was currently heading in her direction, her mouth set in a heavy frown.

Taking JJ's arm and guiding her forcefully to the corner of the stage, Strauss whispered her admonishment, "Agent Jareau, you do realize that we have the mayor as a guest among us tonight, as well as several prominent Senators and Congressmen. DO try to be a bit more festive, dear. This is for charity after all!"

"I apologize, Ma'am," JJ said through clenched teeth, her voice tight as she felt the gaze of several men resting on her as she shuffled from foot to foot, those four-inch heels wreaking havoc on her tired feet. She added, barely avoiding sending a glare of death toward the peeping Toms, "I wasn't exactly prepared for this part of the program."

"A last minute addendum, Agent Jareau," Strauss said, waving a careless hand as she added, "Agent Morgan assured me that he'd gained your complete agreement."

"Did he?" JJ muttered, once again revisiting her plan to annihilate Derek Morgan at her earliest convenience. The FBI could replace him. She would gladly assist with the search for his successor.

"He did," Strauss murmured with a slight inclination of her head, her eyes narrowing as she took in JJ's less than thrilled expression. Her words clipped, she asked, "Was I misinformed?"

Blowing out an irritated breath as she realized that, as much as he deserved it, she couldn't put her friend in the hot seat with their boss. "No. No, ma'am, you weren't. Don't worry. I'll find my holiday cheer in short order," JJ assured the older woman in with what she could only hope was a believable smile, calling on all of her press training to present a false front. "Perhaps, a cup of that rather potent punch would help me," she suggested with a sigh, nodding toward the refreshment table.

"Then by all means, go guzzle away, Agent Jareau. And come back to the stage with some Christmas spirit," Strauss hissed before walking away, her plastic smile firmly in place as she zoned in on the Senator in charge of the committee overseeing the FBI's operating budget.

Watching as the Wicked Witch of the West literally glided off the stage, JJ narrowed her eyes as she imagined the woman taking an unfortunate tumble. Not that she wanted any harm to befall the woman. Not at all.

Sighing, she forced herself to return to reality, the noise of the room suddenly seeming louder, the various conversations mingling with the sound of Christmas tunes in the background. Turning her gaze toward Dave and Morgan, having a hushed conversation in the corner, JJ pasted a bright smile to her lips, murmuring to herself as she walked toward them, her footsteps determined, "So dead! So very, very dead!"

Pausing as she reached Dave, standing just behind him, she asked, her voice deceptively calm, "Having a nice chat, gentlemen?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 14**

_**Prompt: Maude – "The Office Party"**_

"Jayje!" Morgan gaped, his surprised eyes widening as the subject of their muted conversation appeared. "We were just…," he gasped.

"You were just leaving my sight," JJ ordered on a hiss, pointing a long elegant finger at him. "I'll deal with you later, you faithless little lech!"

"I can live with that!" Morgan nodded, his dark head bobbing agreeably as he slapped Dave on the shoulder. "Good luck, man! It was nice knowing you!"

"Infantile coward," Dave grumbled, looking at Morgan's quickly retreating body as he backed away from them.

"Only the strong survive, Rossi. And that means knowing when to say 'See ya!'" he called, saluting the older man as he turned and virtually scampered away.

Jerking Dave by the tie back around to face her, JJ smiled tightly. "I think you and I need to take this break in the party to have a small conference outside, David." Leading him by the tie, lest the mangy dog try to break his chain, JJ sailed through the double doors of the ballroom into the hallway. Pulling him into a deserted office, JJ turned to glare at the smiling older man, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Something you wanted, Agent Jareau?" Dave smirked as he leaned negligently against the wall, watching as she drew a deep breath, her breast rising enticingly as she did.

"What I want," she drew out, stalking one step closer as she smacked her palm flat on his chest, "Is to know WHAT THE HELL you think you've been doing for the last few minutes?" Her eyes growing darker by the second, she almost shrieked as she raised up on her tiptoes, the advantage of her heels putting her eye to eye with him. "Have you FORGOTTEN what your checkbook is for? Do I have to write the freaking check myself?"

Seeing him merely standing there, his smirk literally grating on her last nerve, she threw her hands up as she yelled, "Are you going to say anything? Anything at all in your defense?"

Grinning widely, his eyebrow arching as he took in her flushed cheeks, he replied laconically, "I was waiting 'til I knew it was safe to speak, babe. You seemed quite content to vent your spleen and I didn't want to interrupt."

Her eyes narrowing, she hissed, her eyes glaring, "Listen to me, you conceited oaf, and listen well. I WANT you to interrupt." Waving her hands toward the door, she added sharply, "I want you to interrupt OUT THERE! You got me into this, you jackass, and you will get me out of it. Capice?"

Her nearness a temptation he was not planning on resisting, Rossi dropped warm hands to her full hips, pulling her closer as he said, pretending to consider the matter, "Gee, Jen, you haven't been enjoying all of this attention? It seems that the whole room's been very focused on helping to raise funds."

"The whole room's been focused on my assets, David Rossi, and you know it!" she snapped back, settling against him automatically as she raised one foot, relieving the pressure on her heel. Cocking her head to the side as a sudden thought ran through her mind, she said, thoughtfully, "Of course, maybe you would prefer that one of those other bidders. I seem to remember that Agent Jenkins from White Collar Crime has a trust fund, so I'm sure that he could be counted on to pony up a decent amount for the children." She added casually, "Of course, that means that he would win me for the night, too."

Tilting his head as he stared into her sparkling eyes, Dave asked, his voice deceptively calm, "Are you threatening me, Beautiful?"

"Of course not," JJ replied sweetly. "Just stating the facts as I know them." Lifting a hand to snap her fingers, she squinted her eyes as she recalled, "And that Agent Thomas from Counter-Terrorism, he asked me out just the other day. I think his family comes from money. Oil, I think."

"You know, baiting me is a very bad idea, Jennifer," Dave warned, tightening his hold on her.

Meeting his gaze steadily, JJ arched a brow. "Why's that, Rossi?"

"Generally, I feel the need to assert myself," he said casually. Bending his head, he whispered, "And I find this method usually works best." Covering her lips with his, he swallowed JJ's shocked gasp, taking advantage of her parted lips quickly as he tangled his tongue with hers. Lifting a hand from one hip to lightly frame her face as he deepened his possession of her mouth, her tongue dueled with his, fighting for dominance. She'd lose, but he'd let her play that game a few moments longer.

He heard her soft muffled moan as his hand slowly slid up her torso to cup one aroused breast as his lips finally mastered hers. Feeling her body soften against his, he knew he had her complete capitulation as she sank into his embrace, her arms reaching up to clutch his neck as his thumb strummed one stiff peak. Tightening his arms around the willing beauty in his arms, he slowly broke the kiss, trailing gentle kisses across her cheek and down her neck.

"David," JJ sighed, her eyes closed as she tilted her head back, allowing him better access to her soft skin. "Oh, God, David."

Lifting his head to nip gently at her chin, Dave whispered, "Never, under any circumstances, threaten me with another man, Jennifer. You just might sign one of those spineless fools death certificate with that kind of talk. You wouldn't want to be responsible for any needless carnage, would you?"

Forcing her eyes open, she stared into his eyes, darkened in passion, before shaking her head wordlessly.

"I knew you were a smart woman," he said with a slow smile. Pressing another kiss to her damp lips, he continued, "Now, I think we need to talk about what exactly I'm going to gain if I agree to help you out of this particular holiday hell."


	15. Chapter 15

**Baby It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 15**

_**Prompt: My Two Dads – "To Thine Own Elf Be True"**_

Blinking slowly, her mind trying to regain control of her traitorous body, JJ tightened her fingers around his neck as she forced herself to remain upright. Licking her lips, she finally whispered, "I think we'll both have Strauss off our backs."

Tapping her nose lightly, Rossi raised an eyebrow as he trailed a finger down her cheek. "Now Jennifer, that's an added benefit to this whole evening. I don't think I need to explain to you exactly what I'm asking, do I?"

Cocking her head to the side as his fingers detoured down her neck, his touch leaving a burning pattern in its wake, she muttered, avoiding his darkened eyes, "A deaf, dumb, and blind woman could guess what you're wanting Rossi." Attempting to regain her footing, she pulled back slightly as she said archly, "And what makes you think I'm interested anyway?"

"Don't even go there, little girl," Rossi warned softly, his fingers straying over the edge of her less-than-there costume. "I think your own body just gave us both the answer we need in that area, don't you agree? Or would you like for me to prove it to you again?"

Raising a hand to capture his before he once again delved into forbidden territory, she said with more calm than she actually felt, "Dave, I'm not going to deny that I'm interested in you, but do you really think…."

"Don't think, Jen," he interrupted, easily twining their fingers as he leaned in, pressing another kiss to her open lips, sweeping his tongue against hers slowly but surely before pulling away. Staring down into her startled eyes, he said, "Just feel."

Her body settling hard against his, she had no doubt as to what he was feeling about her at that exact moment. Shaking her head, she muttered, her mind no longer capable of fabricating excuses, "How are we going to explain this to the rest of the team?"

Recognizing capitulation when he heard it, Rossi stared down into her dilated baby blue eyes. "It's nobody's damn business but our own, Jen. We're two consenting adults who happen to be attracted to each other and are acting on that attraction."

"Is that all it is to you, Dave? Mere Attraction?" JJ questioned suddenly, drawing her head back to read his expression better. "There are a lot of women out there that I'm sure you find attractive, so why not one of them?"

His fingers tightening against her velvet covered hip, he replied, calmly, "Attraction came first, Jen. You're a beautiful woman, and you definitely caught my eye from the beginning. But if you're asking if there's more, if there's something worth basing a relationship on, then the answer's yes. I want more than a roll in the hay for a night, and I hope you do, too."

"And how long can I expect your attention span to last this time?" JJ asked, dropping one hand to her hip. "Because I've seen your record, Rossi, and I've gotta tell you, it's not looking so good. Now, if it was just me I had to be concerned about, that would be one thing. But I have another innocent person to worry about, in case it slipped your mind."

"You think you're telling me something that I haven't already realized, Jen?" Dave asked impatiently. "If you remember, I'm the guy standing their every afternoon snatching your kid from you at the elevator after you pick him up from daycare…."

"And there's a huge difference between visiting with a baby for a couple of minutes a day and being in a relationship with his mother. He'd be a constant fixture, Rossi. And, _always,_ the center of my attention. I don't think in any of those previous marriages or relationships you've ever had to share the spotlight, have you? And you've never struck me as the type of guy that's good at sharing. Demanding, now that's something else. And I'm sorry, but I've had my fill of selfish, demanding men."

"Then it's good for you that I'm not that man anymore," Rossi shot back easily, dropping his hand to cover hers. "Was I once? Hell yes. And all it got me was selfish, demanding women in return, Jennifer." Seeing the doubt obvious in her eyes, he added, "I'm not asking you to take my word for it or to believe in a miraculous conversion. But answer this question. Have you seen me date ANYONE since I've been back at the BAU?"

Rolling her eyes, JJ tried to pull her hand away, but was unsuccessful as his much larger and stronger fingers easily gripped hers. Snapping back, she said, "David Rossi, I don't think that has anything to…."

Squeezing her hand, he interrupted, "I take that as a no. Now, who did I meet on my very first day back at the BAU?"

"I'm assuming you met the entire freaking team, David," JJ said impatiently, tapping her foot against the wooden floor as she added, "And I'm also a little tired of twenty questions, so if you have a point, I'd suggest that…"

"Maybe the better question is who was the FIRST person I met when I came back, Jen?" he replied calmly, staring down into her eyes.

"So it was me," she answered, giving her shoulders a negligent shrug as she tried to avoid remembering that day, remembering the attraction she had had to this annoying man since day one. "I don't see that it has anything to do with…"

"It has everything to do with the fact that I've been intrigued with you since day one, Jen," he threw out, his black eyes boring into hers as he pulled her a bit closer.

"Again, Dave, that's been a long time ago, and a lot of things have happened to BOTH of us since then." Smiling tightly, knowing that he wasn't going to give her the assurances that she needed, she forced herself to step back as she said firmly, "You've still not managed to answer my original concerns, so if you don't mind, I'll just…"

"I've not dated anyone else because I've wanted you, Jen. I've waited for the perfect opportunity to let you know that, and thought I had lost you when that idiot LaMontagne came on the scene," Rossi growled, then continued. "I wanted to smash his face into a brick wall for hurting you, and still might. Your son is the most amazing thing on the face of ht earth, and the only thing wrong with that whole situation is that he's not mine. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a picayune thing like genetics keep me from letting him know…letting you both know…how important you are to me."


	16. Chapter 16

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 16**

_**Prompt: The West Wing: Faith Based Initiative**_

"Dave," JJ said, taking an involuntary step backwards as the force with which he'd delivered his words washed over her and the utter sincerity in his gaze staggered her.

"Uh uh," Dave said, grabbing her arm gently when it appeared the vibrant young woman before him was giving serious consideration to a mad Christmas dash, "you asked the question and I gave you the answer. You want honesty? I'll give you honesty, babe. But, you'd damn well be ready for my replies because I'm tired of tiptoeing around how I feel. I think we owe it to both of ourselves, and Henry too, to be open about what's happening between us."

Jabbing a long elegant finger into his solid chest, JJ narrowed her gaze on the older man. "You are a confirmed player, David Rossi."

Surrounding her punishing finger in a gentle grip, Dave denied, "Correction. I _was_ a confirmed player. And I was good at it. I had a hell of a lot of fun."

"Congratulations," JJ said with a tight smile, that one word dripping in sarcasm.

"But I got old and it got boring," Dave continued, ignoring her comment. "I haven't been involved with anybody in a long time. A very long time, JJ."

"Who you choose to sleep with is none of my business," JJ replied with tight lips as she tried to ignore the rapidly expanding elation his words were sending through her body.

"The hell it isn't," Dave retorted sharply. "It's completely your business, especially given the fact that I can't even look at another woman any more without comparing her to you!"

"So I'm supposed to believe," JJ said slowly, eyeing him closely, "that I've managed to do the impossible and felled the mightily revered David Rossi?"

"Didn't you hear the shout of timber, honey?" he replied, wiggling his eyebrows at her as he grinned into her questioning gaze.

Smacking at his chest, she said, her voice brooking no argument, "I'm being serious here, dammit, Dave."

His expression drawing tight as he pulled her even closer, he said with deadly calm, "So am I, Jen. If you'll take me, I'm yours. There's nobody else that I want, or will ever want. But I convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I need you."

Her mouth opening to respond, JJ jerked her head quickly as she heard the distinct sound of approaching footsteps. She muttered, "I think I hear the clickety click of the Wicked Witch of the West."

Nodding casually as he kept his eyes on the tiny blonde in his arms, he said, calmly, "I'll have a house dropped on her right after you tell me that you believe what I'm telling you."

Glancing toward the door, JJ shook her head as she tried to pull back, only to find her body caught in his intractable grip once again. "Dave, we'll discuss this later."

"Now works for me, Jen. Otherwise, I'm going to think that you're not serious about wanting out of the Hell's Angels version of Christmas."

Sighing, her heart catching in her chest as she allowed her eyes to meet his, JJ knew that she couldn't deny what she was feeling. Why, oh, why, did her normally orderly and meaningful life have to be thrown into chaos now? Couldn't her emotions be controlled for just a few more moments? Finally finding her voice, she murmured, "Don't make me regret this, Rossi. I don't play fast and loose with my child's life or with my own."

"Try to have just a little faith in me, babe. We'll call it my Christmas gift," Dave replied with a soft smile as the purposeful footsteps drew closer to the office they stood in.

"Glad you don't ask for much," JJ muttered, gazing up into his dark eyes as she reminded herself that there was currently a gift she needed from him…his cooperation. "But before I commit to anything, you are going to have to agree to end this Christmas madness for me." Grabbing his tie and tugging him to her eye level, she ground out, "I'm tired of my role as Santa's slut. End it."

"And you called me demanding," Dave chuckled as the door swung open.

"Agent Jareau!" Erin Strauss called, her voice exasperated. "There you are! In case you've forgotten, we have a bevy of men out here eager to bid on your particular assets," she pointedly reminded the other woman. "Perhaps you'd like to rejoin the party?"

Straightening her short skirt as she cast one last pleading look at Dave, JJ quickly scooted around the elder woman. "On my way, ma'am."


	17. Chapter 17

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 17**

_**Prompt: Golden Girls – "Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas**_

Turning casually to face the older woman, Rossi said almost conversationally as he pretended to peruse her outfit, "Gee, Erin, you seem to have forgotten one accessory tonight."

Arching a well-defined dyed brow, Strauss smiled tightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And what exactly would that be, Dave?"

"Your broom," he said, straight-faced, walking by her back into the long hallway. Calling back over his shoulder, he added, "Of course, maybe that explains the stick up your…."

"That'll be enough, Agent Rossi," Strauss said succinctly, falling into step beside him as they headed back toward the ballroom, the distant din of music and conversation just barely audible. "I see that your disposition as Santa Claus has not improved throughout the evening, has it?"

"Don't see much to be excited about, Erin," Rossi snapped back, emphasizing her given name on purpose as he watched her eyes narrow. "Seems to me that this entire ridiculous event has been prolonged at Agent Jareau's expense."

"It should end now," Strauss said negligently, waving a veined hand in the air. "I already know who she will be spending the rest of the evening with, and the Children's Fund will be greatly appreciative."

Casting a wary eye in her direction, Rossi asked carefully, wondering if his old nemesis was more cognizant of facts than he had given her credit for, "And who would that be, Erin?"

Stopping in mid-stride to face him, she replied, her voice confident, "Why, the mayor, of course. He's well-connected, which will be a great benefit to the Bureau and our local political interests. And he's extremely wealthy, which means the children will be well taken care of. I'm sure that Agent Jareau will have a lovely time with him."

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" Rossi said incredulously, his eyes narrowing as he forced himself to hold in his anger. "That man is a grade A son of a bitch who should have been arrested for felony battery years ago. And he would have, had it not been for his so-called connections and wealth."

"I never assumed you were the sort of man that listened to rumors, Agent Rossi. None of those allegations have ever been proven," Strauss replied, her words clipped.

Grabbing Strauss firmly by the elbow, stilling her forward momentum, Dave turned her to face him. "Erin, I'm not screwing around here. Jen isn't going to be the mayor's latest new toy," Dave growled.

"I don't think that's up to you," Erin snapped. "Make no mistake; I, as well as the higher ups will frown on any interference from you, David."

"Ask me if I give a flying fuck, Strauss," Dave ordered pleasantly. "You, of all people, should know that I don't give two shits if I ruffle a few feathers. And that's beside the fact that we both know that it wouldn't be in your best interest to piss me off. Now would it?" he asked, narrowing an eye at the stiffening woman.

"You wouldn't," she gasped.

"Is it still true that a picture says more than a thousand words, Erin?" Dave asked evenly, his eyes never wavering from Erin Strauss' rapidly paling face.

"That was over ten years ago, Rossi," she whispered.

"And yet, you're still married to the same man, aren't you? I think those photographs of you and our esteemed FBI Director would blow those fraternization rules you two like to spout right out of the water, wouldn't they? As well as wreck your seemingly perfect marriage," Dave threatened, his voice dropping as another agent stumbled into the hallway.

"You're a real bastard, Rossi," Erin hissed, glaring at her one-time friend.

"So you've said before," Dave shrugged. "But make no mistake, you hand Jennifer over to that oily son of a bitch and you'll regret the day you ever decided to play fast and loose with me."

Lips tightening, Strauss straightened as she stared at David. "Fine," she muttered. "Just make sure that you keep bidding, David."

"Not a problem, Erin. As always," Dave said, stepping around her and looking over his shoulder, "it's been a pleasure doing business with you."

"Go to hell, Rossi," he heard her irritated growl from behind. Damn, this Christmas was shaping up to be one for the books. He'd not only wrangled Jennifer Jareau's heart, but had managed to beat Erin Strauss at her own devious games. Top that, Santa!


	18. Chapter 18

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 18**

_**Prompt: House – "Guardian Angels"**_

Ten short minutes later, Jennifer Jareau was looking down in amazement from her perch on the stage as she watched David Rossi continually trump the bids of every other man in the room. Casting a nasty glance toward the front table where the local dignitaries were sitting, she couldn't help but wonder why the mayor of their fair town was even interested in her, let alone willing to continually bid higher and higher. But as long as Rossi continued to raise his bid, she didn't care. Although, she did wish he would just go ahead and get this over with.

She wasn't the only one with that very wish. Standing next to Rossi, Morgan muttered, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the woman he thought of as a sister stand on the stage, "Dammit, man, I don't care about Strauss any more. Fix this. JJ looks like she's about had enough, don't you think?"

"She had enough half an hour ago, Morgan, but you seemed more than willing to throw her to the wolves then," Rossi growled back, his mind keenly attuned to the bidding around him. Seeing the hand of the mayor raise once again, his lecherous gaze raking over the petite blonde, Rossi muttered, "But I agree. This is done with." Catching Erin Strauss's eye, Rossi said loudly and firmly, "One hundred thousand dollars. Cash."

An audible gasp filled the room as every head turned in his direction, most of all JJ's. Even though she had been expecting him to make the last bid, she honestly hadn't expected him to raise it that fast or that large. Strauss glared over the top of her glasses as she said snidely, "Agent Rossi, perhaps you missed the last bid, but the mayor had currently place nine thousand on the table. Are you certain that…."

"I'm certain that Agent Jareau's worth ten times that amount, Chief Strauss," Rossi snapped back, making his way through the crowd as he reached the edge of the stage. Reaching a hand up to the silent JJ, he said calmly, "You're done, babe. Let's go."

"Oh, thank God," JJ mumbled, dropping a hand to his strong shoulder as Dave slid his hands around her narrow waist, lifting her down from the stage. Meeting his eyes as her heels touched the floor, JJ whispered, "A hundred grand, Rossi?"

"I'd have paid double if it took that much to stop the mayor's salivating looks," Dave growled, dropping his lips to her ear. "I meant what I said. You're done here tonight. Let's go, Jennifer."

Seeing the determined glint in his eye and the tic beginning in his jaw, JJ nodded wordlessly. She knew those signs well. An outburst of epic proportions was brewing on the horizon. And as she watched him turn to offer the mayor a hard glare as he progressed toward them, she had a sinking suspicion she knew why.

Offering her hand a small warning squeeze, his words were hushed as he ordered, "Don't you even acknowledge that bastard's presence."

Nodding mutely again, she felt him guide her toward the door, wincing as she heard, "Agent Rossi! Mrs. Claus!"

"Oh God," JJ groaned softly, dreading the upcoming confrontation, no matter how sinister or civil it turned out to be.

"It's fine, babe," Dave replied softly, turning so that he blocked JJ's body with his own.

"Dave, behave," JJ whispered violently, squeezing the hand encasing hers.

"I will if he will," Dave muttered.

Peering around Rossi's broad shoulders, JJ saw the man that she recognized as the mayor come to a halt before them. Smiling, he raised an eyebrow as he thrust out a hand in Rossi's direction, his voice filled with an obviously fake chuckle. "Just wanted to give my concession speech. It appears the better man won."

"You could say that," Rossi replied, his tone the same that he used with the most hardened criminal, his hands held firmly to his side as he ignored the other man's outstretched palm.

Cocking his head to the side, the mayor let his hand fall as he said, his eyes leering around Rossi, "I'd like to say goodbye to Mrs. Claus. I feel like we know each other already, seeing as she's been so friendly this evening."

JJ couldn't help but shudder at the man's oily words, a smarmy feeling sliding over her. Feeling her tremble, Rossi's jaw tightened as he glared at the younger man. "I'll convey your sentiments. Mrs. Claus has already fulfilled her duties for the evening."

Sidestepping around Dave in a way only a true politician could perfect, the Mayor extended a hand toward JJ. "Well, perhaps if I couldn't buy the valuable time of Mrs. Claus, I could at least introduce myself to Agent Jareau," the mayor continued affably though his eyes slid over JJ's body with a lascivious eye.

Nodding tersely, JJ offered a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Mayor Cox."

"Rumors of your beauty preceded you, Agent Jareau," the mayor murmured, dropping his hand back to his side.

"I'm sure Agent Jareau would much rather her skill as an agent has reached your ears, Mayor," Dave growled. "She's quite proficient with a firearm."

"Really?" Mayor Cox drawled. "A slip of a woman like you?"

"Doesn't take a lot of physical strength to aim center mass, sir," JJ replied, her eyes flashing angrily as she felt his gaze once again roaming down her body.

Leaning forward, Dave murmured for the Mayor's ears alone, "And she's never without her gun, Ronnie. Or me."

Meeting Dave's eyes, Mayor Cox replied quietly, "So, I take it I've been warned off, is that it, Dave?"

"A wise man would call it that," Dave said coldly with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Ah," Mayor Cox smiled. "What a pity," he murmured. Looking at JJ, he flashed her a gleaming smile, "It would have been a night to remember. Another time, perhaps," he said with an inclination of his head.

Watching as he walked away, JJ barely suppressed a shiver. "Why do I just feel like I dodged an incredibly large bullet?"

"That son of a bitch is the one who dodged the bullet, babe," Rossi muttered, tightening his grip on her arm as he glared at the departing dignitary. "If he ever comes within a hundred yards of you again, I swear to God I'll make him beg for death."

Clenching at his arm, JJ pulled him around to face her, reminding herself at the last moment that the room was full of watching eyes and listening ears. Smiling for him and him alone, hoping to distract him, she said, firmly, "It's over, Dave. This night from the pits of North Pole hell has reached its end, and I for one am more than ready to call it a night."

Seeing the mutinous gleam in his eye as he glanced over her shoulder, JJ could only imagine who the object of his ire was now. Either the Mayor was still glad handing, or Erin Strauss had come within his line of sight. Leaning forward, she stood on tiptoes as she whispered in his ear, trying to ignore the blast of cool air coming from the overhead air vent, "Of course, I believe that we still have some unfinished business to attend to. I believe I owe you a thank you kiss for saving me."

Her words managed to sink through his anger-induced haze, and he dropped quick eyes to hers, his focus immediately drawn to her bright blue eyes. Seeing her shiver as she tried to pull her tiny shawl around her shoulders, he immediately loosened his grip on her, shrugging out of his jacket and draping it around her shoulders in seconds. Watching her immediately tighten the lapels across her chest, he said, firmly, "We're out of here, Jen. I don't exactly trust myself to not commit homicide if one more bastard looks at you."


	19. Chapter 19

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 19**

_**Prompt: Ally McBeal – "Blue Christmas"**_

Grinning at JJ as she walked back into her cozy living room over an hour later, Dave paused bouncing Henry on his stomach for a moment as his eyes traveled over her body. "I take it Mrs. Claus has retired for the evening," he chuckled, silently noting her comfortable attire.

Gesturing at her baggy sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt, JJ laughed. "Mrs. Claus and I had extremely different ideas of what constituted comfortable attire. This is much more my speed. Sorry for the disappointment."

"No disappointment here, babe," Dave replied, adjusting the baby in his lap to face his mother. "The boy and I agree that you'd look beautiful in a paper sack. Don't we, Henry?" he asked, leaning forward to nuzzle a little ear and earning an innocent childish giggle in return. "Seee, babe! Perfect accord!"

"Mmmm…something tells me that this particular dynamic duo could be doubly dangerous," she murmured, looking from her son's cherubic little face to his partner in crime.

"We have no idea what you're talking about. Do we, Henry?" Dave asked the baby indignantly.

Walking over to the Christmas tree, JJ bent to flip on the colorful Christmas lights and turned to watch the baby's face light up with excitement. "He loves the lights," JJ informed Dave proudly.

Henry yelled happily, bouncing in Dave's lap as he pointed at the Douglas fir gracing the corner of JJ's living room.

Never taking his eyes from JJ's face, Dave agreed softly, "Very pretty, son."

Not able to stop the blush from creeping up her cheeks, JJ murmured as she adjusted an ornament that was already in perfect alignment, "I believe he was referring to the lights, Dave."

Shrugging as he grinned up at her, his hands tightening on the wriggling little boy, Dave replied, "Beauty comes in many different packages, babe. The boy likes the sparkly ones. I like mine in the living and breathing form."

Cocking an eyebrow, JJ took a step back toward the couch, automatically reaching down to pick up the stuffed frog her son had dropped as she said softly, "I think you and Henry might share a lot in common, though. You both can get your heads turned by the sight of a pretty thing."

Patting the couch beside him, Rossi said calmly, "I'm fairly certain that both Henry and I have eyes for only one pretty thing now, and she's standing in front of us."

Perching on the arm of the couch as she eyed her drowsy son, currently rubbing his cheek against the soft cotton of Dave's shirt, she smiled. "He's worn out," she whispered, reaching out a finger to trail down the side of one chubby cheek.

Feeling Henry jerk against his chest at the unwelcome interruption to his effort to make a bed of his chest, Dave chuckled, disrupting the baby again and winning himself a snort against the side of his neck. "I think I might be irritating him," Dave said with a smile as he smoothed a soothing hand up the baby's spine. "Like mother like son," he chuckled.

Shaking her head, she replied, "No, if he was irritated, he'd haul off and kick you."

"My kind of boy," Dave grinned, brushing a kiss against the downy blonde hair of the child. "Direct and to the point."

"God help me," JJ muttered, rolling her eyes.

Shifting on the couch, Rossi asked softly, "Do you want me to lay him down? I don't want to keep him up past his bedtime."

The soft chimes of her grandmother's clock on the mantle drew JJ's attention, and she frowned as she checked the time. "As late as it is, he should go straight to sleep once he hits his crib."

Taking that as an affirmative, Rossi tightened his grip on the little one as he stood easily, murmuring, "Let's get him to the nursery, honey, and we'll get him all tucked in."

"You don't have to do this, Dave," she replied, shaking her head as she automatically reached for her son. "I'll have him down in…."

"There's no use shifting him and risking waking him, honey," Rossi replied firmly, then added, eyebrow raised, "Unless, of course, you don't trust me to make the ten steps from here to there without catastrophe."

Dropping her hand to his arm, JJ drew her eyes up to his as she said, her stomach fluttering, "There's no one I trust more than you, Dave, and you know that."

Minutes later, JJ felt Dave's arm slide around her waist as they stared down at the sleeping baby. His chuckle grazed her ear as he reached out for the baby blanket, attempting to tuck the little foot back under the cover.

She whispered, warning, "It won't do any good, Dave. He always manages to get the covers off of his feet, no matter what I do. That's why I make sure he has socks on." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, they both laughed softly as the blanket rumpled and a blue-clad foot made another appearance.

"He's just being cautious, honey," Rossi whispered in her ear, his breath fluttering against her cheek. "He wants to have an avenue of escape in case he needs to make a quick exit."

"He can't even crawl yet, Dave," JJ replied, her words seeming to float in the dimly lit warm room. "I don't think he's going to making a run for it any time soon."

"I guess not," Dave murmured, dropping a hand to the evenly rising and falling blanket. "He looks so peaceful like that."

"You ought to be here when he wakes up wet and hungry bright and early at six in the morning," JJ snorted. "His temper tantrums rival yours, Rossi."

Guiding her out the nursery door, Dave stared at the back of her gleaming blonde head. Didn't this woman know by now not to tempt him with something he wanted as badly as that. To be there. With them. "You really shouldn't make offers that you aren't prepared for me to follow through on, JJ."

Looking over her shoulder at him with surprised eyes, she heard the serious timber of his voice ringing in her ears. "Dave-," she whispered, "I can't afford to play house with you. Not when there's a tiny innocent person involved."

Wrapping a hand around her arm, Dave tugged her around to face him in the doorway of the living room. "Didn't you hear a word I said to you earlier tonight, Jennifer?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at her in the soft glow created by the twinkling Christmas lights. And without doubt, David knew that if he didn't act fast, this was going to be a very blue Christmas indeed.


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Merry Christmas, Everyone! One more chapter of this to go. Have no fear, I will be finishing the other Christmas stories by New Year's! I ran out of time!! Twas the Night Before Christmas will be posting either tonight or tomorrow…along with the remainder of Baby, It's Cold Outside. **_

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 20**

_**Prompt: Melrose Place: Under the Mistletoe**_

"You've said a lot of words tonight, David," JJ sighed.

"Then let me bring a few of them back to your memory," he said calmly, backing her up inch by inch until she was pressed against the wooden frame. Sliding a hand down her jersey-covered arm, he murmured, "I'm serious about us, honey. I'm not looking to play at anything. I know what I want, and I've waited for it. I've waited for you, Jennifer. For both of you."

Forcing herself to ignore the feelings that his mere touch was igniting in her traitorous body, JJ tried to regulate her voice as she said firmly, "Dave, there's far more to this whole family thing than five minutes at night and a few happy moments before Henry goes to sleep. Will couldn't do it and …."

Interrupting, Rossi involuntarily tightened his grip on her hips as he said with a growl, "I hope you're not about to compare me to that piece of shit who didn't deserve you or that baby, Jen. I don't hurt people that are important to me, and I don't leave when the going gets tough for the people I love."

Sighing as her mind registered those last words, she shifted against him, her arms creeping up his broad shoulders as she said, "That's just it, Dave! Mere attraction is not love. And…"

"I never said I didn't love you, Jennifer," Rossi replied calmly, his dark eyes boring into her widening baby blues, the twinkling Christmas lights reflecting in her obviously shocked gaze. Rubbing his thumb against her waistband, he said, confidently, "So I'll say the opposite right now. I love you, Jennifer Jareau. And I'm not going to let you run from what we could have together."

Groaning, JJ huffed out an unhappy sigh. "David, you can't expect me to believe that. And if you're trying to get laid tonight, there are far easier ways to do it…with attractive single women that are not the mother of a small child that needs what meager time and attention I'm allowed to devote to him! Go find one of those women!" JJ demanded firmly, frowning up into his set face. "I'm not up to another dalliance. I had my fill of that before Will ever left the picture!"

"I swear to God, JJ, if you don't stop trying to make me responsible for that man's sins…," Dave growled.

"I'm not! I'm being honest," JJ snapped, her hands dropping to her sides to fist by her sides.

"So am I!" Dave exploded quietly. "Are you really so blind that you don't see what's standing right in front of your face?" he asked, exasperation and frustration lacing his question.

"I see a man who could be anywhere or do anything, and who has been well known for playing the field in the past," JJ replied calmly, her voice hiding the emotions churning inside. "I see a man who could have any woman he wanted in the world, one without strings."

"Been there, done that, and decided it was overrated," Dave replied honestly, his gaze never leaving hers. "But the moment I met you, I knew, Jen. I knew that there was something more, something better. And I don't give a damn about the women of the world. They're cold, emotionless imitations of the real thing. I've had the fakes. I want the real thing, and that's you."

"The real thing isn't always pretty, Dave," JJ warned, trying to ignore the feelings that his words were stirring inside her. Hearing her son's soft sleeping whistle over the nearby baby monitor, she drew her shoulders back, her attention returned to what was most important. "The real thing is nerve-wracking and soul killing. It doesn't fit into a nice pretty little box that can be dealt with when it's convenient for your schedule." She drew a ragged breath as she added, "And no amount of your vast fortune can fix this if it goes wrong, Dave. It's not like tonight. You can't always buy your way out if something doesn't go your way."

"I seem to recall that my vast fortune, as you put it, came in quite handy earlier, for both of us," Dave replied, his eyes glinting.

"And I truly appreciate the assistance you gave me," JJ replied gratefully. "As do the children at the hospital. And, I'm sure your accountant will thank you, too, for the nice, tidy charitable deduction on your tax return."

"Jen, I warned you earlier tonight that I wasn't simply going to walk away," Dave sighed, running a hand over his face as he began to feel them talking in circles.

"But you will!" JJ retorted sharply, slamming a hand against his broad chest. Damn him for dangling heaven in front of her nose. Double damn her for being tempted to reach out and wrest it from his hands. But it couldn't work…because eventually he WOULD leave. His track record spoke for itself, didn't it? "You always leave, don't you? Maybe it'll take a year…five years…what's your record anyway, Dave? Eight years, I believe? That would make my son anywhere from two to nine years old, right? Old enough to REMEMBER a man he loved walking out on him this time! I won't let that happen to my baby again, damn it! Once was enough!"

Watching her face contort, Dave flinched. He really was going to kill William LaMontagne if he EVER climbed out of whatever miserable hole he'd fallen into. True, his past life would have given Jennifer pause…hell, it would give any sane woman pause…but this, this was instinctual. This desire to protect and preserve her child's safety. Taking a deep breath as he stared into her turbulent blue eyes, Dave slowly spoke, each word clear and enunciated. "I am NOT going to hurt that little boy, Jennifer."

"You can't make that promise, Dave," she replied softly, forcing her heart to remain silent, the ache almost physical. "I heard it before, and it…."

"Forget what you've heard, Jennifer, and listen to this," Rossi interrupted, forcing himself to inject a modicum of calm into his voice. As much as he wanted to literally pick her up and shake her, he knew that she was operating on a completely different level, her desire to protect her child greater than anything. "I may not be that baby's biological father, but I will protect him, and you, with every last fiber of my being. My father never strayed from my mother or from us, and I've had a good role model. I want Henry to have that same thing. I want him to know that he's protected and loved, and that his mother is the most important thing in my life." Seeing her gaze start to soften, to shift slightly, he added, passionately, "This is far more important than any amount of money that I have in the bank, Jennifer. I'm staking my future on this."

Biting her bottom lip as she tried to harden her heart against his words, tried to hold herself just an inch farther away, she whispered, "I just don't know, Dave. What if the risk is too much? What if we can't make this work?"

Recognizing the tiny thaw, he pressed forward, sliding his fingers over her arms, "We'll make it work because we both want it, honey. You can't deny that we could be good together, in every way." He added, a grin floating on his lips, "And I have no doubt that you'll have no problems keeping me in line if I happen to make a misstep. I've seen you in action, babe. You're scary, and I respect that."

"You're going to think scary if you end up hurting my baby boy, Rossi," JJ threatened as her body softened against his.

"Never happen, Beautiful," Dave whispered. Glancing upward, he saw the mistletoe above his hair waving like a potent omen above their heads. Dropping his dark eyes back to hers, he murmured, "Mistletoe, babe. We can't start our first Christmas together by defying tradition now, can we?"

"I guess not," she said softly, her eyes staring into his as his lips descended.

Kissing her gently, Dave urged, "Give Santa a chance, Jen. They don't call this the most wondrous time of the year for nothing." And if her mind had any doubts, his kiss quelled them all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Baby, It's Cold Outside**

**Chapter 21**

_**Prompt – Just Shoot Me "Christmas? Christmas!"**_

**Epilogue**

_**One Year Later**_

Glancing up as he heard his name being called, David Rossi's face broke out in a grin as he caught sight of a blonde head toddling across the tiled bullpen floor. Turning his back on the agents gathered around him, Rossi knelt down, his arms outstretched as he asked, "Hey, little man! Did you escape daycare again?"

Chuckling as she watched her son being scooped up into her husband's arms, JJ balanced a diaper bag as she dropped extra files on Reid's desk. "No, they've wised up to him down there and installed Henry-proof baby gates now. Apparently he took four other children with him on his last prison break, and they're not wanting a repeat of that fiasco."

Cocking an eyebrow as Henry patted his bearded face, Rossi said with a frown, "They should have had better security measures in place to begin with. It's the FBI building, for God's sake. How the fuc….."

"Don't say it!" came from the chorus of voice around him, their entire team chiming in quickly. Reid added helpfully, "Use fudge, Agent Rossi. Or fiddlesticks."

Glaring over at her husband as she dropped a hand to her expanding stomach, JJ said calmly, "He doesn't need to say anything at all and he knows it, Spence. The daycare is perfectly safe, and Henry has never been in danger. He only managed to lead his revolt six feet into the adjoining playroom."

Rolling his eyes as he patted his chattering son on the back, Rossi retorted, "I still don't trust them, Jennifer. I'll have a chat with the director and…."

"You'll have a chat with no one, Dave, and we're finished discussing this," JJ said firmly as she moved around the desks, finally dropping heavily into Emily's leather chair and leaning her head back. Closing her eyes, she said, "Has anyone seen Penelope recently? I need to touch base with her about our plans for Christmas dinner, you know."

Emily eased down on the edge of the desk next to JJ as she said, "Last I heard, she and Morgan were on a top secret mission. Knowing Garcia, she's conned Morgan into stringing lights around her office and he's managed to strangle himself on a wayward strand."

"Actually, Emily," Reid said with a thoughtful look, "It's a proven fact that there are over two hundred holiday-related deaths each year from improper installation of …"

Cracking open an eye, JJ said with a patient sigh, "Seriously, Spence, let's take a Christmas break from the work-related facts and figures, shall we? I promise, you can pick them right back up after tonight's unit party."

"Speaking of the party," Rossi said with a frown, "Are you sure you need to go, babe? You're looking pretty tired, and you know I'd rather spend the evening at home with my wife and son anyway."

"Oh no, Rossi," JJ said, both eyes opening widely as she pointed at him, sitting up straight in the chair. "I wouldn't miss this party for anything. After last year's fiasco, I'm dying to find out who's playing Santa and Mrs. Claus this year."

"Speaking of which…" Penelope Garcia said brightly, the Jingle Ball around her neck heralding her arrival as she bounced across the bullpen.

"I might need a small bit of assistance," Morgan added, following the blonde closely, red Santa suit draped over his arm as he progressed toward the gathered group.

"Oh, fudge," David Rossi said succinctly, eyeing the bald man warily.

"Well put," Hotch agreed, joining his small group, his son's hand encased firmly in his.

"I couldn't agree more in this particular circumstance," JJ groaned as she caught sight of the desperate gleam in Derek Morgan's dark eyes.

"Santa nekkid," Henry breathed, pointing at the red suit over Morgan's arm.

"I'm sure he's just taking a shower," JJ replied quickly, shooting Morgan a warning look.

"Yeah, he needed one since his sleigh took a header into the Potomac. Rudolph found some black ice and couldn't put on the brakes fast enough. Everybody's fine, but Santa and his wife are gonna be delayed," Morgan explained. Looking pleadingly at Dave, he added, "Massively delayed."

"Don't even suggest it, Morgan," Dave hissed, tightening his arms around his wriggling son. "My and JJ's time in North Pole purgatory has been fulfilled. Find some other Jackrabbit to fall into twisted version of Winter Wonderland."

"Jackrabbit? Don't you mean jackass?" Morgan said, wrinkling his forehead in confusion.

Slamming an open palm against the back of the black man's bald head, Rossi growled, "No cursing around the baby!"

"OW!" Morgan yelped, grabbing his head. "Shi--…I mean sugar!" he corrected.

"Ass, ass, ass," Henry chattered happily, laughing as his uncle bounced from one foot to the other, rubbing his head.

"Just great!" JJ groaned, holding her arms out for her baby.

"Just great!" JJ groaned, holding her arms out for her baby. Glaring at the assembled group, she muttered as she adjusted Henry in her arms, "I told you people that we would have none of this! Did you not pay attention? Henry's at a very impressionable age and…"

Reaching out to cup his wife's neck, his fingers stroking against her delicate skin, Rossi interrupted calmly, "Morgan knows he's in trouble, honey, and he promises never to do it again." Casting a glare over the top of her head at the bald profiler, he added, threateningly, "Don't you, Morgan?"

Nodding quickly as he took a step behind Garcia, Morgan said with the appropriate amount of regret, "Absolutely. I'll have the language of a nun from this point forward, JJ. Promise."

Reaching out to pat his cheek, Penelope agreed as she smiled in JJ's direction, "And I'll make sure he sticks to that promise, gumdrop. We'll have a little chart drawn up PDQ with a list of appropriate punishments for when he strays."

"Punishments?" Morgan yelped, glancing down at the colorful technical genius as he bunched the Santa suit in his hand. "I didn't sign up for any fu…."

"Morgan!" JJ and Rossi yelled in unison, their combined glares aiming toward the man once again as Henry jumped in her arms, the noise startling him.

Slinking over to his old desk, he dropped the wrinkled suit on top of a pile of paperwork as he muttered, "Aren't we supposed to be teaching the kid a better vocabulary? Isn't that my job as his uncle? Why am I the one that gets in trouble now? I want to know when I became a responsible adult who cares about small children. Would someone please answer that question for me?"

"I believe, Agent Morgan," came the voice of Erin Strauss from behind them, "It was when you agreed to help with the annual Christmas party again. Am I to assume by this small meltdown that you have not yet been able to find a suitable Santa and Mrs. Claus?"

Jerking at the new voice, Morgan turned to face the Section Chief, throwing a dirty glance in Rossi's direction as he heard the older man stifle a chuckle. But before he could respond, the little boy in JJ's arms suddenly let out an ear-piercing wail as he cried, "Witch, Daddy, witch! Make her go 'way!"

Eyes widening slightly at Henry Jareau Rossi's adamant declaration, Strauss bent slightly to see the young toddler burying his face against the crease of his father's neck. "Well," she murmured thoughtfully, "at least that's one of the less colorful descriptions that your father calls me by."

"We get our mouths washed out with soap when we repeat the others," Jack grumbled as he scoffed his shoe against the floor.

Raising one eyebrow, Erin met Hotch's eyes as she asked, "Is that so?"

"Yup," Jack answered promptly. "And I don't think it's fair…nobody came after Uncle Dave with the green bottle."

"No, indeed. That DOESN'T sound like an equitable punishment," Strauss agreed with a glare at Dave. "Perhaps, I need to devise my own penalty system," she mused with a pointed look at the men of the unit.

"Come on, Erin, being forced into your company on a daily basis is punishment enough, don't you think?" Dave asked sarcastically.

"For both of us, Agent Rossi," Strauss retorted sharply. "At any rate, I'm here paying a visit to your esteemed unit for a purpose. Do we have a Santa & Mrs. Claus yet, Agent Morgan?"

"Working the issue now, Chief," Morgan mumbled.

"I suggest you work faster," Erin replied evenly. "Else we might just be forced to shove you inside said suit."

"No can do, ma'am. I'm the emcee for this event this year, remember?" Morgan evaded. "Don't worry, I'll find somebody."

"Oh, I'm not worried, Agent Morgan," Strauss frowned. "Because to disappoint me would be to disappoint our Director and I'm certain you wouldn't want to make that mistake, would you?"

"Of course not, Ma'am," Morgan murmured, flashing an uncomfortable look around him at his teammates.

Smiling tightly, Erin inclined her head toward him. "Good, then. I'll expect a phone call from you in the next hour then. Good day, everyone," she intoned before walking out of the bullpen.

Waiting until the Dragon Lady had cleared the glass double doors, Morgan looked frantically around him. "Okay, guys! You heard her…that woman has the scent for blood! Particularly mine! So who's gonna throw themselves under the bus for me?" Met with silence, Morgan looked around at his colleagues. "Don't everybody jump at once! Not an emergency situation or anything!"

Looking down at his son, patiently holding his hand, Hotch quietly suggested, "Why don't you take Henry and go play with your cars in the floor."

Watching as Jack helped Henry down off Dave's lap, JJ shook her head as the two children scampered off. "They're getting so big," she laughed.

"And soon we'll be adding another to the crew," Emily grinned.

Looking between the two smiling women, Morgan rolled his eyes. "Focus, people! Somebody…actually two somebodies…need to step in here and save my attractive ass!"

"And what an ass it is!" Penelope added gleefully, bending to mock leer at the rump in question.

"Mama, please!" Morgan begged.

Holding up a hand, JJ shook her head. "Hey, I saved your butt last year. My quota is filled. Besides," she added, staring down her body at the noticeable bump that David Rossi's newest child had produced, "I'm fairly certain there's not a snowball's chance in H-E double hockey sticks that I'll fit in Mrs. Claus' naughty uniform this year."

"Wouldn't matter if you could," Dave grumbled. "You and I fulfilled our Christmas commitments last year."

"And for your effort, you found your wife. No complaining about it now," Penelope said tartly.

"True," Dave murmured with a soft smile at his wife, fingering her gold wedding ring as he held her hand. Looking at Morgan, he shook his head. "Still not falling into the trap though."

"Crap," Morgan muttered as he turned toward Reid.

"Nuh uh," Reid said with a shake of his shaggy blonde head. "I definitely do not share Santa's manly physique," he reasoned, holding his arms aloft.

"Kid's gotta point," Dave grunted, eying Reid's lanky figure.

Shifting on his feet as all eyes turned toward him, Hotch shook his dark head as he took a step backward. "No. No, no, no," he said quickly as assessing gazes measured him.

"It could work," JJ said softly.

"Say, "HO, ho, ho!"" Dave ordered with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"You want ME to pull off JOLLY?" Hotch asked incredulously.

"AND we want it to be believable," Pen added gleefully, clapping her hands.

"Come on, man…two hours of your time to a worthy cause," Morgan pleaded. "You got a kid, Hotch. You don't want to disappoint these poor cancer kids."

"Those cancer kids got a hundred grand out of Dave just last year, Morgan," Hotch argued.

"Best money I ever spent," Dave grinned, dropping a kiss against his wife's neck as he pulled her into his lap.

"Fine," Hotch snapped, grabbing the Santa suit out of Morgan's hands. "But you still don't have a Mrs. Claus."

Turning his beseeching chocolate eyes toward Emily, Morgan crooned, "Oh, Em-i-ly!"

"What?" she asked, turning toward him. Seeing the gleam in his eyes, she quickly shook her head. "In the same outfit JJ wore last year? NO!"

"But it's for charity," Hotch mimicked.

"I'll donate a healthy amount," Emily promised. "Name it, Morgan…I'll have a check on your desk…"

"I don't need your money, Em," Morgan declared. "I need your body…poured into this outfit," he said, holding up the sexy suit in the air.

Snatching the clothing, Emily frowned. "Fine! But I'm not JJ…one of those goons touches me and I'm shooting first and asking questions later!" Holding the tiny outfit in front of her, she growled, "I'm gonna go see if I can pour myself into this getup."

All eyes watched as she flounced toward the ladies room. Waiting until she was out of sight, Pen asked with an evil grin, "So, how soon are you gonna tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Hotch asked suspiciously.

"Strauss thought it would be festive if we added a song and dance routine to this years auction…compliments of Mrs. Claus. She was thinking either Santa Baby or Baby, It's Cold Outside," Morgan shrugged.

"Morgan, you realize that Emily can't carry a tune," Reid gaped.

"So?" Morgan grinned. "They'll pay her to shut up."

"Fa La-la, la la, La-La la la" Penelope trilled as the room dissolved into laughter.

**FINIS**


End file.
